“You miss it?”
“Football?” I ask.
“Yes, football. What the hell did you think I was asking?” She laughs.
“No.” I nod to my kids. “I wouldn’t give up all this for the game. Those two kids are everything I never knew I deserved.”
“So, was football never really what you wanted?”
“I wanted it. Love the game.”
She stands, looking at the field.
“Every part of my past brought me to where I am today. No regrets, Tessa.”
She sighs. “I miss field hockey.”
“The game, or beating the hell out of people during the game?”
She grins. “Love the game, Lucas. Every part of my past brought me to where I am today.” She uses my words and smiles. Then she swallows hard, and I nudge her with my hip. I don’t want her to cry, but I know she needs to. I also know she’s drowning in her own need to take care of everyone around her when she just needs to fall the fuck apart.
“Right? That’s just what I was thinking,” I try to joke, and she forces a smile. “Without all that bullshit.”
She snaps her head toward me.
“The game, Tessa. Without all you went through, all you’re still going through, look at those three kids and never doubt or question a damn thing. Collin—”
“Please don’t,” she whispers a plea.
“Sorry, bab—Tessa.”
She laughs.
“I know things will be tough for a while, and I know, as strong as you are, your strength sometimes becomes an obstacle. The road you are on is right where you have always been meant to be. Don’t look back. Just forward.”
“Thanks.”
I look at her, and she looks at me. Really looks at me. At my eyes. Damn, it has been forever since anyone’s eyes reached as far inside of me as hers do. She then closes her eyes as she looks down. My heart feels the same heaviness as I assume hers does right now.
I look behind us and know no one is paying attention, so I move my hand next to hers and rub her thumb with my pinky.
She looks up and scowls. “You’re gonna make me cry.”
I don’t say a damn thing.
“I don’t want to cry, Lucas.”
“I don’t want you to, either.”
“That’s the way we do it!” Logan yells, and she smiles as I pull my hand away. He hurries over and holds up his hand. “Touchdown, Tessa!”
She high-fives him, and I can’t help but laugh at “touchdown” and the meaning it used to hold for us.
“Lucas!” she scolds me.
“What?” Logan asks.
When we were younger, during my SU days, when I made a touchdown, I got a prize from Tessa Ross. And when I say prize, I mean a blowjob.