Would she survive the surgery?
Their family had been working on their momma’s rehab tirelessly since West had landed her on the heart transplant list, but what if? What if it hadn’t been enough? What if West never should’ve pushed it? Months of their mother’s life—maybe years—could’ve been stolen from her if she didn’t live through it.
“Make sure those children get their perfect pumpkin festival,” his momma said, “no matter what happens.”
“Yes, for sure!” She was always thinking of others, which was why she could never know that West had pushed her in front of other worthy candidates for the surgery. Cole gulped, not sure if he had the strength to talk about what was closest to his heart without completely losing it, but if he didn’t have another chance after this, he didn’t want to kick himself forever. “Hey, Momma, I’ll be praying for you.”
“Baby, I’ll be praying for you.” She sniffed and he knew that she was crying. His throat tightened. “I’m so proud of all my boys. I want you to know that. Whatever happens in this surgery is God’s will. Can I count on you to accept that?”
Cole hesitated. That was a hard thing to ask of him, and yet? What choice did he have, except to face whatever happened? He might be tempted to blame West if something went wrong, but not God, never God.
God was perfect. His brother was… hardly that.
He just wished that he had seen his momma’s face one last time before she left… just in case things didn’t go the way that they wanted. He tried to answer his mother’s plea about accepting what was meant to be, but his throat was working against him.
“Honey?” she asked. “Are you okay?”
She knew him too well. “Of course.” That came out too gruff for her to believe it. He tried again. “I love you.” His voice broke.
“I love you so much,” she said. “You were my surprise baby, but you became such a blessing to your father and me. I never knew how incomplete our family was until you came along, and I can only thank God that he gave you to us. You’re the voice of reason, the one who is like a steady anchor in the roughness of the sea, trustworthy, good. I can only ask that you show compassion on others who struggle where you’re strong. And in turn? Their strengths might be your weaknesses.”
She was talking about West. She was always lecturing him to take it easy on West, but… his brother had caused her this stress that made a ruin of her heart, and he was still up to his old tricks. If not for the years it had taken West to perfect his charm, she’d know that, too.
“Charity will make you into the man that you are meant to be,” she said, cutting through his angry thoughts. “Promise me that you’ll see the good in those who haven’t got life figured out yet, and that you’ll have patience.”
“I can try,” he said haltingly. He’d gladly do that for anyone, but his brother? Maybe feeling charity towards his brother was meant to be his greatest challenge in life. And still? West was still hurting people. How could Cole give him an inch?
“That’s all I ask,” she said. “Your bond is as good as your word. You are a good man.”
“Thank you,” he whispered. He hoped she’d see the man that he was really meant to be, not this shell of one who couldn’t hold a conversation with his momma without wanting to burst into tears. “And you’re an angel,” he managed to get out.
God, please don’t take her away to be with the rest of them. I might be in my thirties, but I still need my mother. If she dies now, she’ll never know my wife, my children.
She had to live!
Of course, his momma would “pooh pooh” the idea of not being a part of everything going on here, even if she wasn’t visible. She would definitely assure him that she’d watch over him from heaven… even if she had to sneak away from the heralds of singing angels to take a peek. His momma always loved to sing, so that would be a sacrifice.
“You sure you don’t want me over there?” he asked her.
“No, honey, there’s nothing that you could do here but twiddle your thumbs during a boring surgery, but we sure need you at home.”
Disappointment flooded him. She was right though, everything he did over there would be futile. “Okay.”
The CNA came in, needing to take her vitals and asking her questions, so she was forced to tell him goodbye.
Cole hung up the phone.
Eva’s fingers played with the long sleeves of her fuzzy bathrobe. “What is it?” she asked.
“My mother… she’s finally getting her heart transplant.”
“That’s wonderful news.”
It didn’t feel like it—his momma’s last words to Cole felt too final, and his worries about her surgery overcame him. He hadn’t told her everything that he’d wanted to tell her! Years of unresolved quarrels and unfinished conversations flooded through his mind. He hadn’t said even a hundredth of how he felt. He hadn’t prepared for the moment when he really had to say goodbye.
“Cole?” Eva’s face was awash in concern.
He didn’t want to talk about how he felt or the possibility of losing his momma would feel too real. “Yeah,” he breathed. “It’s great news.”