West seemed to hold his breath under all those arms, bowing his head. Eva could see his guilt eating him from the inside out. Would he ever forgive himself like they had?
A happy shout split the air and Charlie and Pip ran to their dad so fast that West let out a gruff grunt of pain as they barreled into his stomach and knees. Their mother grinned over them. Obviously she’d sent them to join in the fray.
Jase’s hand found his grandsons’ heads, and he ruffled their hair. “We might have lost our Lily,” he said over his son’s heads, “but we haven’t lost our family. We’re just an extension of you, my girl, and we’ll just keep growing.”
Eva couldn’t stop the torrent that had become of her tears now. It seemed hypocritical to keep any of them back after she’d told West to “feel something.”
Oh, that beautiful Lily! She’d created quite the circle of love for her family on this earth. Not many got to experience this little piece of heaven. Eva’s tears, she realized, also came from loss, not just because Lily had passed, but from Eva’s own regrets and disappointments.
She wasn’t worthy to be a part of this amazing family. What had she been thinking anyway? Her own momma couldn’t stand to be in the room with her for one hour.
Eva noticed almost distantly Lily’s daughters-in-law running forward, their arms finding their husbands and their new brothers. She was missing in that. And still… the neighbors wandered over, too—even Liv and River and others that she’d only been introduced to at the pumpkin festival. They joined their friends in a big group hug, their flowers twined together like a summer wreath frosting in the cold winter wind.
Okay, Lily, good idea. Your celebration of life was pretty good.
Eva felt torn about joining them. She should offer her love. No, she should leave. Or maybe she should stay? She always loved a good party. That was her problem, wasn’t it?
This wasn’t about her.
She lowered the pot carrying the Beloved onto the ground and let out a sob. To her dismay, she lost the strength to get back to her feet. Instead, she folded over the plant and covered her face. It just hurt to see the roots, branches, and blossoms of this wonderful family tree and know exactly what she’d lost. She should’ve been smarter, more capable, more–more… perfect to keep Cole!
A hand touched her back. Embarrassed, Eva ripped her hands from her eyes and saw Cole standing in front of her. Wow, he was like a giant when she was crumpled over like this. Tearing away from the Beloved, she straightened, trying to even out their heights a little.
It didn’t do much good.
Taking a deep breath, she faced him. “Hi.”
He had her in a tight hug before she could get any more words out. There wasn’t any condemnation coming from him, no more of that anger she’d sensed when she’d first entered the garden. His momma’s celebration of life had taken all of that away, and in its place was love.
She lost her breath in his embrace.
Cole was right! She hadn’t truly known how powerful God really was until she’d felt the personal touch of heaven in her life—she felt it with Lily’s words, Cole’s family, with him!
This complete turnaround was a miracle.
No matter what happened between her and Cole, she’d never forget how it felt to truly be loved, even in the face of all the horrid things that she’d done to hurt this man. She truly was God’s child.
She rested her chin against the crook of Cole’s arm. Despite the warmth she felt emanating from him, she didn’t want to get her hopes up, not again, not if she was misreading him. Emotionally, she couldn’t handle being rejected by him right now. “Do you–do you really forgive me?” she asked.
“For what?” he asked, drawing back.
The strands of his dirty blond hair were messy from all this love. Eva couldn’t help reaching for his hair to smooth it back from that widow’s peak that she adored. He smiled in return, pulling her closer. Well, well, fussing over him was a bad habit that bore repeating, she supposed. Their noses almost touched, and she felt the roughness of his cheek run up against her ear.
She couldn’t keep back her smiles. She’d missed Cole so much!
Was this really happening?
And though it killed her to ask, she still forced herself to get to the bottom of what they meant to each other. “Do you forgive me for… well, first for loving you, and then I guess, now for wanting you back?”
“Honey.” He barked out a laugh. “Are you serious right now? Sure, yeah, I forgive you for loving me seventy-times-seven… now for leaving me? That’s one crime I plan on taking out on your hide.” He slipped the snapdragon from his pocket, his eyes resting on her tenderly the whole time. “Funny thing about snapdragons—they’re supposed to be passed on to a lover to beg forgiveness.”
She accepted the fiery little flower, her fingers trembling. “I should be giving this to you.”
He caressed her cheek. “Absolutely not. That’s from me for not coming over here sooner.”
She laughed in relief. How could he be so accepting when she’d been so wrong? She wanted to say a million flirty things to him in response, but more than that, she wanted to explain herself to him, even if it didn’t seem to make a difference. Cole was taking her with him on this adventure of life. She was absolutely sure of it.
She didn’t deserve it. At all. Why didn’t that matter to him?