Still, I can’t deny the fury rising in my heart. The fact that someone dared to try to end my life in such a sneaky way. Luckily, Cara is a pretty good distraction.
“Killian,” Cara tuts, “you couldn’t handle me as your nurse.” She busies herself with tucking the blankets around me and then her warm hand cups my cheek, bringing a brush of comfort with it.
“Besides, it would be just your luck to get a hard-on right now without the energy to follow through, and you don’t want to start disappointing me now, do you?” She smiles teasingly at me and the heat within my gut flares further, a groan of irritation escaping me.
“You are a cruel nurse,” I murmur and her light laugh soothes deep into the chill invading my soul. “At the very least lay with me.”
Cara hesitates and I lift one arm, offering it to her. She studies the few tubes running into my body, calculating before she finally slides onto the bed and lines her body up with my own. I drape my arm over her shoulders and cuddle her close, molding her form to me and her heat soothes with every touch. A shiver crawls up my spine, one that I can’t restrain. But the moment Cara feels it, she presses closer to me and tucks her head against my chest.
We stay like that for a few long moments and, over time, Cara melts against me, relief bleeding from every pore. She must have been so scared. If I died… I’m uncertain what would happen to her. She is still the Irish princess but would they let her step up to lead? Or would she be married off to someone else to further strengthen the alliance?
The thought of anyone else getting their paws on Cara makes my skin crawl and I grip her as tight as I can manage.
“I love you too.” The words come easier than I ever expected but they hang, open and shy in the air between us. She tenses then lifts herself up so our eyes meet. They’re wide and bright, surprised and happy at the same time and the pink dusting along her cheeks remains.
“You don’t have to say it just because I did,” she whispers and I fight the urge to roll my eyes. She doesn’t reject my advances yet she fights my confession of love? Somehow I’m not surprised.
“I do. I’ve known for a while actually but… shall we say death puts things into perspective?” It’s all I can offer her.
I can’t word the possession that bleeds into my every thought of her with each passing heartbeat. I can’t explain the all-consuming desire that exists with my every breath. But I can tell her I love her and to me, that’s the same thing.
She stares at me as our future flashes through my mind, before her warm lips descend on mine and chase all thoughts away.
I love her.
I had never seen myself ever saying those words again but it exists here, between us.
Assassin or bomb; nothing will tear us apart.
18
CARA
Being at home without Killian doesn’t sit right. The kitchen is too quiet, the bed far too cold and even the bubbling of the coffee pot seems insultingly loud in his absence. It’s the first time we’ve been apart for this long - 4 days, and I hate it. And although I’m glad it’s not like before, knowing he’s recovering in the hospital doesn’t make it any easier because he’s expected to remain there for another four.
I’ve kept myself entertained the best I could, throwing myself into my school work but it seems so alien now. Kimmy and Sadie popped around for drinks and I told them a vague lie about Killian nearly dying from an allergic reaction. It was all I could tell them in order to get the comfort I needed without filling them in on the dangerous truth.
Sadie then sent a rather cheeky gift to show Killian on his return and each night without him, I’ve stared at it hanging on the door and picturing his face when he sees it.
I can’t believe I’ve gotten so needy!
And yet when there’s a knock at the door, my heart lifts to the hope that Killian has fought with the doctors and returned home early. I abandon my coffee on the counter and hurry to the front entrance, clasping my cardigan tighter around my shoulders against the chill that rises from the hardwood floors.
But as I open the door, disappointment floods me seeing as it’s only Sienna. But her warm smile helps to thaw the bitterness that creeps up.
I miss Killian.
“Sienna! It’s so early, is everything okay?” The early morning fog still clings to the grass behind her and her cars have the ghosty fingerprints of the early morning chill.
“Yes, of course,” Sienna smiles and lifts a brow. It takes a second of early morning cold over my thin legging-clad legs for my sleep-addled mind to catch up, and I invite her inside.
“I’m so sorry! Come in, come in,” I usher quickly, “I didn’t sleep well so my head is still…” I throw my hands up in mock despair and she chuckles, shrugging her coat off and following me through to the kitchen.
“Coffee?”
“Tea? If you have it?”
“Of course!” My abandoned undrunk coffee gains a mournful glance as I set about hunting out the pot and boiling the kettle.