The look Killian gives me could curdle milk and would send lesser men running for the hills. It doesn’t bother me though and I press the cigar firmer into his palm.
“Please Killian, it’s an Irish tradition and it’s important to me that you take part, regardless of how you felt about my father,” I say firmly.
“I just don’t see the point, I don’t even smoke,” Killian replies, finally relenting and taking the cigar. He turns it over in his hand with a wrinkle of disgust creasing his nose.
“You don’t have to understand it, you just have to take part. You are my husband,” I point out and sharpness teases into my tone. Killian’s eyes flick back up to meet mine but there’s no retort there, only a small nod as an understanding softness slips onto his face.
It passes in a flash as Archer joins us a moment later and his brow shoots up at the sight of the cigar.
“Boss! Are you that stressed?” he smirks, passing Killian a glass of something likely non-alcoholic as he eyes the cigar.
“It’s tradition,” I explain, “we talk and laugh, share stories, and smoke cigars to keep bad spirits away until the burial. It’s an old one but… but my father would appreciate it.”
Archer’s smile loses its teasing warmth immediately and he dips his head in respect.
“Of course, I’m sorry.”
“I’m not,” Killian grumbles and I snort, driving my elbow gently into his ribcage.
“You’ll give me an Irish wedding but not an Irish funeral?” I tease gently but despite my best efforts, the humor is lacking.
“It’s notyourfuneral,” Killian replies sharply and for a beat, everything freezes cold. It’s almost as if he’s silently warning me with his steely eyes as our gazes meet.
Don’t you ever think about dying, Cara,I mimic in my own mind. The moment passes when Archer quietly clears his throat.
Killian rolls his eyes and turns to Archer. “Got a light?”
Too many people to count mill around us, paying their respects to Callahan Ryan, the fallen Irish Captain, and my father, but so few of them know of his real decline. Only the close circles know that he was forced to step down after too many bad decisions rendered Irish power into a tumbling decline, saved only by Killian and his family.
The scent of cigar smoke pulls me from my thoughts and I glance back at Killian to see Archer coaxing him through how to properly puff on a cigar.
He wasn’t kidding.He really hasn’t ever smoked.
The sight brings a small bubble of warmth to my chest and I reach for Killian’s forearm, squeezing it gently.
“I have to finish speaking to everyone I’ve missed,” I explain, taking a step away. Killian stops me with one look.
“I’ll come with you.”
“No, I need you to stay here and chase away spirits,” I insist firmly and, after a beat, Killian relents and nods.
“I’ll be here.”
“Thank you.”
“If you’re looking for Kimmy or Sadie, I saw them last at the bar,” Archer offers with a small smile. “That Kimmy’s a bit of a firecracker isn’t she?”
“You couldn’t handle a strong woman like her anyway,” I scoff, teasing him with another try at humor that doesn’t reach my eyes.
Archer places a hand on his chest, feigning hurt.
“You wound me,” he comments with a smirk before Killian breaks into a short, sharp coughing fit from inhaling too much smoke. It pulls Archer’s attention and I use the moment to slip away into the crowd and continue my duties.
As Callahan’s daughter, it’s my job to shake hands and accept the sympathies, to hear all the stories so that I may pass them on to my father when I say my final goodbye. We’re three hours into the wake and I’m already exhausted. Another hour and we’ll be attending the funeral and as much as I try to ignore the pull in my heart, I can’t wait for this to be over.
Too many prying eyes delivering false sympathy for a man they barely knew.
I present myself to every offered hand, a nod to every story, offer of food, and sympathy to the point that I’m certain my head will fall off by the time I make it to the other side of the hall. I glimpse my best friends at the bar but their energy is almost overwhelming so I avoid saying hello for the moment. I’m held together by makeup and duct tape.