He knew it was cowardly of him to behave so, yet he could not bring himself to listen upon her words this morning. She was going to tell him she was not his wife. But it was a thing he’dalready perceived. And he understood that in this, yet again, she was unlike Rowena. Not truly seeking to deceive him.
“But you haven’t even broken your fast,” she said, gesturing to the bowls she’d been readying.
“No matter,” he replied in haste. “John is waiting. A good day to you, wife.”
It was only when he’d closed the door behind him that he understood he’d called her his wife, and he could not help but think about the ardent caresses they’d shared last night. His mind was in turmoil.
John cast him several strange glances, before clearing his throat and saying to him, “Something amiss? Not Rowena acting just as she did in the past?”
Arthen shook his head, but John went on in a tone seeping with bitterness. “Maggie’s gushing about her now. As if they’re suddenly the best of friends. But I… Forgive me, Arthen, but I do not believe in this change. And you should be wary of it.”
They both stopped in their tracks.
“How so?” Arthen asked cautiously.
John sighed, raking a hand through his dark hair.
“I never thought it was my place to tell you, but I was wary of her even before you wed. Rowena… I know you were lured by her sharp mind and bold charms. But she… Her eyes were always cold when they glanced upon you. Always cold. And now it’s strange they seem unduly warm. As if she’s now utterly changed from what she was and looks upon you with ardent love. And I keep asking myself if this thing can be true. That someone who’s utterly cold may acquire a beating heart. I-I don’t know. Perchance I’m mistaken, but...”
Looks upon you with ardent love.Love. Arthen’s mind became stuck on the word, and he had trouble focussing.
“You’re right,” he said after a while, placing a hand on John’s shoulder. “Her eyes were cold indeed when they glanced uponme before she went away. And she was cold, and I was a fool not to see it from the start. But now… Maggie is right. She’s different than she used to be.”
“Truly? Nevertheless you need to have a care.”
“I will,” Arthen vowed, casting his friend a steady glance.
Their talk then drifted upon their business, and upon the lady Marie, and at first John did not think it wise that Arthen had agreed to teach the sheriff’s daughter, and frowned upon Arthen’s doing so for free. Yet he at last conceded with a sigh that if the young noblewoman entered an archery contest and competed well against skilled men, news of their school would spread far and wide. Arthen suppressed a smile, because of the two of them, John had always been sharper when it came to their business. As for Arthen, he had not thought to teach Marie in order to increase their fame. He’d resolved to teach her because archery was in her blood, just as it was in his.
CHAPTER 21
Maggie had called upon her today, with two other neighbours, who wished to see Emma's embroideries. Emma had already resolved she would not seek to deceive anyone concerning her skill with the needle. It was something she took pride in, and that she wanted to become part of the new life she wished to forge for herself. So she was glad of Maggie's praise and of the others' admiration, and that they were already willing to let her teach them the fine stitches which she knew. Since it seemed Rowena had not been friendly with any of the women in the neighbourhood, these women did not think her skill with the needle in any way strange. The hours passed pleasantly, and helped her forget the turmoil in her heart upon telling Arthen the full truth this night.
Upon hearing the door, Emma rose with creased eyebrows, because the hour was earlier than the one at which Arthen usually got back.
Maggie beamed, as the archer exchanged greetings with the guests.
“Won’t you look upon this, Arthen? Isn’t it the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?”
Emma felt flustered under the exaggerated praise, and even more flustered when Arthen bent to look upon the embroidery. Her heart went to her throat, because she already suspected Rowena had not even been an embroiderer. But at this time she no longer sought to hide anything from the man she'd come to love.
“Aye, beautiful indeed,” she heard Arthen utter after what seemed to her like a long while.
His keen brown eyes now fell upon her, and she cleared her throat, returning to Maggie and to her two guests. From the corner of her eye, she followed Arthen as he began to chat and play with the children, who were eager as always for his company.
It was only sometime later, after the guests had taken their leave and she had seen to putting Robin to bed, that Emma finally had the chance to confer with Arthen alone. And she found her earlier resolve thwarting, and deep dread descend upon her. What if Arthen decided he wanted none of her after her deceit? What if… She swallowed hard, resolving to finally face her fears. She cleared her throat as Arthen looked at her, and pointed to the embroidery which still lay on the table.
"This. I meant. You see, the embroidery…"
Arthen shook his head, with a shrug.
"I recall only too well when I bought the embroidery thread as a gift. At the time, I thought it would be a pleasing gift. One fit even for a noble, high-born lady. But the woman I bought it for spurned it because it seemed useless to her at the time. So for many months it just lay unused."
Emma had often wondered about it, because Rowena's chest held both embroidery thread and what was needed for fine work with the needle, but she had seen no embroidery in the house itself. By the bitterness in Arthen's tone she understood Rowena had not cared for embroidery, as she'd not truly cared for theman she'd wed. But Emma had come to care for Arthen and her deception needed to end now, no matter how afraid she was of what he'd do. She spoke boldly, knowing the words needed to be spoken, “Arthen, I have deceived you. You see, I–”
“I am aware you have deceived me,” Arthen cut her off in a level voice.
Emma reasoned he was speaking of Rowena’s deception. He would be very angry to discover the woman he’d lain with twice already was not his true wife. And her earlier fear became even deeper. She could never leave Robin and yesterday she’d understood she truly loved Arthen. But what if Arthen became angered with her and cast her away? He had all the rights to be furious with her. And perchance he still pined for Rowena. And Rowena was still his wife.