“Aye, I am. But—”
“Servants talk, as you must know. They tell of many things. Of how your first husband was. And of how your second is to be. And of how you did not like the first match better than you like the second.”
Emma found herself blushing fiercely, thinking upon all the strangers who knew such private things of her. So people had been already apprised she was reluctant to wed. But wouldn’t that make her planned escape harder? Was her uncle already expecting she’d try to run? And would he be able to stop her?
“What if somebody was to take your place as Lord FitzUrse’s bride? Would that be so displeasing?” Rowena suddenly said, laying a hand on Emma’s shoulder.
Emma pushed Rowena’s hand away, turning to face her.
“What?”
“I’m only asking. Perchance Lord FitzUrse might be agreeable to you, and hence it’s pointless to ask you this.”
Emma shook her head in wonder. Rowena’s talk was reckless and mad. Yet Rowena’s gaze and voice were steady. And Emma began to see that Rowena really thought she could replace her as this lord’s bride. Yet this could not be.
“Lord FitzUrse... In truth, I do not wish to marry him. Yet I would not wish him upon any woman,” Emma said bitterly. “You’re wrong to think what you are thinking.”
“Lord FitzUrse is just a man. Like all men,” Rowena said with an unconcerned laugh. “I fear no man. So what is there to fear if I were to wed FitzUrse in your stead?”
Emma’s head had begun to spin. Surely, Rowena’s talk was senseless. Or this was only a strange dream, from which she would soon wake.
“So, will you… let me wed FitzUrse in your stead?” Rowena asked, and her voice sounded strangely compelling.
“This is madness!” Emma cried, getting a grip of herself. “Lord FitzUrse is a worthless man, just as my first husband was. A man who treats women ill. He’ll handle roughly the one he marries, and this is not a fate I wish upon any wife. You would do well to stay away from this!”
“I do not care for this. I care for his wealth. He has a lot of it, doesn’t he?” Rowena said in the same unconcerned voice as before.
“Aye, he does. But—”
Rowena now cut her off, going to the door and opening it, to make sure no one was listening to their talk.
“No one,” she eventually said in relief.
She then turned to speak to Emma in a passionate voice.
“You may not care for wealth, since you were born into it, milady. You may not know what deep hunger and poverty and sorrow are. But I do! I was born poor as a church mouse and had to beg and skimp and save for every little thing in this life. I taught myself many things and I worked hard for them. I’mbold and fearless! So being married to a man as you say FitzUrse is does not scare me in the least. You speak of him treating his woman roughly? You’ve yet to meet a common man to know what true roughness is, milady.”
Emma felt touched by this impassioned speech, recalling what her nurse had always told her. She should be thankful for the life she had, and not seek to rage and rant upon the cruelty of this world, when there were people far less fortunate than her in it. Yet Rowena was wrong to think a marriage to Lord FitzUrse might bring her happiness.
“You speak of wealth. Yet the life you crave is, in truth, a cage. I’ve seen only too well, common women are strangely freer than noble ladies are. Free to walk about and laugh and even marry for love at times.”
“Life is a cage only for the woman who makes it so, milady. I know I am already free to do as I please. And I will please myself. I’ll marry Lord FitzUrse in your stead. You do not wish for him. Why marry him then? You could be free and away from here, and no one will know.”
Rowena’s voice was indeed compelling, and Emma found herself admiring and envying her. Rowena was a commoner, yet she’d obviously had a freedom Emma had never possessed. She seemed so much her own woman, aware of her own choices. Choices. Emma had often dreamt of being able to choose. It seemed such a beautiful dream. What if… But being free of her new husband would then mean she would bestow this unfortunate fate upon another woman.
“Nay, you only say so, but being married to FitzUrse is a dire fate.”
“Not dire. It is the fate I choose,” Rowena answered with a bright smile, taking Emma’s hands in hers. “Come, milady, there is so much planning we have to do. Isn’t it grand? The grandest thing that’s ever happened in your life? Think upon theadventure you’ll get to have! Think of the life you’ll get to live. I’ve always dreamt of being a grand lady. And you… You can lead your own life taking coin with you and making a new start for yourself. Wouldn’t that be a grand tale? A dream come true? Your dream. And mine. Both fulfilled. It is God’s will, I know it! Why do you think He made us chance upon one another?”
Was it God or the Devil who had made them cross their paths? Emma strived hard to clear her head. And when she glanced into Rowena's steady eyes, which were so much like her own, she saw no devilry or witchcraft. Things seemed to be just as Rowena was saying, as if there had been a divine design for their encounter to happen. The answer to her prayers. Yet, Emma had always been wary and restrained. It seemed like a reckless, deceitful thing to do, fraught with peril. But as Rowena smiled at her, warmly squeezing her hands, Emma could not help but think of the free life she’d always wished to have.
CHAPTER 1
ENGLAND, SIX WEEKS LATER
The first few weeks of Emma’s new life had resembled nothing she had known before. They had been both exhilarating and frightening, and Emma had begun to understand that, while it felt good to breathe free and not answer to a husband or an uncle or a parent at all times, this new life, one of a commoner alone in this world, was not one unfraught with peril. Besides, the deception she’d entered, under Rowena’s guidance, was a dangerous one.
Emma thought of Rowena who had already married Lord FitzUrse in her stead and who now lived the life meant for a noblewoman. Emma had tried in vain to warn the other woman that this life was not the bounty Rowena thought it to be, and that it was Rowena, and not Emma herself who risked her life, should this deception ever be discovered. Rowena had laughed all this away. She was bold and clever, and Emma supposed this strange woman possessed a strength and cunning which she herself lacked and which would serve her better in her newlife as a nobleman’s wife. It had been Rowena who had insisted they both practise for a week, learning each other’s ways, but, in truth, it had been mainly Emma who had shown the other woman what she needed to know in order to pass for a noble lady. Things would be somewhat less arduous for Emma herself, they’d both reasoned.