“I’m sorry,” she said, pulling Tulsi in for a hug. “You needed me, and I was a selfish asshole.”
“It’s okay,” Tulsi said, her voice muffled by Mia’s shoulder. “What I did was horrible. I was young and scared, but you still have every right to be angry.”
“We don’t have to talk about it now.” Mia patted her back gently. “We’ll hash through it all later after we’re sure Clem is all right.”
Tulsi pulled back, looking up into Mia’s face, knowing she had to say what needed to be said now. If the worst came to pass, this might be the last time she was in her right mind for a long time. “No, I want you to know how sorry I am. By the time I started to think I’d made a mistake, Clem was already walking and I… I didn’t know how to go back.” Tulsi crossed her arms with a sigh. “And then every time I’d get to thinking that maybe I should reach out to Pike or confide in you, I’d see a picture of him with a model on some magazine and let resentment get the better of me.”
She took a breath, bracing herself for the rest. “It was an ugly, selfish way to behave, and it wasn’t fair to anyone. I just hope you can forgive me someday because I love you so much. I never could have made it through giving birth without you, let alone all the years after. You’re my sister and my friend and I’m just…so sorry I hurt you.”
Mia pulled her in for a harder hug. “You did, but you hurt yourself more, sweets. I know that and I don’t get off on kicking the people I love when they’ve already been kicked around enough. And that’s all I’ve got to say about it.” Mia nodded firmly. “So far, there’s nothing new on Clem, but Nurse Amy was here a few minutes ago and said she’d keep us updated.”
Pike’s hand settled gently on Tulsi’s back. “You want me to go check on your dad? I could sneak up to his room and try to find out what’s going on.”
Tulsi shook her head. “I’m focused on Clementine right now. When Dad’s ready to talk to me, he can let me know. I don’t have the energy to spare bending over backward to please him right now.”
Mia smiled. “Change that to ‘ever again’ and I’ll say it’s the smartest thing you’ve ever said.”
Tulsi nodded, thinking about all the things she’d learned about forgiveness in a few short hours. “Maybe I will,” she said. “I’m ready to let go of the past. If Daddy can’t let go too, then maybe it’s best if he and I don’t spend as much time together anymore.”
“How about a coffee?” Bubba asked, coming to stand beside Mia. “Sawyer and I decided we could use a cup.”
“Sounds good.” Tulsi smiled, grateful to have so many of the people she treasured most around her. Nothing could make a wait like this one easy, but with her friends around her she would get through it without losing her mind.
Bubba and Sawyer left to go get coffee from the cafeteria and the rest of them settled into their faded blue chairs beneath the television screen hung from the ceiling. The channel was fixed on a twenty-four-hour news station that repeated the same nuggets of information every fifteen minutes, but even after a large cup of coffee and the fifth cycle back into the evening news line-up, Tulsi couldn’t seem to make sense of what the reporters were saying. She was too scared to focus on anything but the fact that her baby was lying somewhere inside the doors to her right, fighting for her life.
She spent the hour leaning into Pike, grateful for his arm around her, feeling like the two of them were bracing for a hurricane about to hit shore. She could sense her own fear and dread echoed in his tense muscles, but knew she wouldn’t be holding it together as well as she was without his support.
“How are you doing?” she asked when Marisol, Bubba, and Sawyer left to make another trip to the cafeteria for snacks, leaving Pike, Mia, and Tulsi alone. She curled her fingers around Pike’s leg above the knee, giving him a gentle squeeze.
“Getting sick of waiting,” he said with a sigh, his arm tightening around her. “I just wish they’d come tell us something. It’s been over two hours since the surgery started.”
As if summoned by his words, Amy, the dark haired nurse who’d been keeping them updated, swung through the doors, a smile on her face. Tulsi saw that grin and her heart swelled with a joy so fierce it felt like her chest might explode, but she still needed to hear the words.
“She’s okay?” Tulsi surged to her feet with Pike and Mia not far behind her. “The surgery’s over?”
“She’s out of surgery, stable, and doing great,” the nurse said, her smiled widening. “The shrapnel was pervasive, but it didn’t damage any of her internal organs, which is wonderful news. We’ve got her in the recovery room and she should be waking up any minute. As soon as we make sure she’s not going to have an adverse response to the anesthesia, we’ll get Mom and Dad back to see her.”
“She doesn’t know I’m her dad,” Pike said quickly. “So please don’t say anything. We want to wait until she’s healthy and strong to have that conversation.”
The nurse’s eyebrows lifted toward her hairline, but she nodded. “Okay. Then we’ll get Mom back to see her first. If she’s up to it, everyone else can come back for a quick hello a little later, but then we’ll need to get her settled in a private room for a nice long rest. The best thing she can do right now is sleep and heal.”
“Thank you so much,” Tulsi said, reaching out to press the nurse’s hand. “And please thank all the doctors, too. I’m so grateful.”
“It was our pleasure.” Amy smiled. “I’m so happy to be able to give you good news. And just so you know, the boy who was driving the car that hit your father’s truck is out of surgery, too. It looks like he’s going to pull through, but he had a blood alcohol level way over the legal limit, so the police will remain involved. They’ll probably be in touch with you in the next few days.”
“My uncle’s the chief of police,” Mia said. “He’s known Tulsi and Clementine forever, so I’m sure he’ll handle this personally.”
Amy nodded. “Great. Y’all just hang tight for a little longer. Hopefully, I’ll be back to get you in just a few minutes Mom.”
Tulsi thanked the other woman again before turning to Pike and falling into his arms. She hugged him tight, relief making her tremble. “Thank God. Thank God she’s okay.”
“I hope that kid ends up in jail,” Pike said, pressing her to his chest. “If his drunk bullshit had taken Clem away…”
“Don’t even say it,” Mia said, letting out a shaky breath. “I can’t think about it anymore.”
“Me either,” Tulsi said, pulling away from Pike. “I should call my mom and let her know Clementine’s out of surgery before I go back to see her.”
“I’ll make sure someone tells your dad, too,” Pike said. “Then I’ll run to your place and get you clean clothes and whatever else you’ll need to spend the night. You’re going to stay in Clem’s room, right?”