“You want me to come in and help?” Pike asked, heart skipping a beat as the stallion nipped at Tulsi’s neck only for her to gently but firmly capture his muzzle, before his teeth found skin, and push him away.
“No,” Tulsi said. “That would scare him more. He’s not as mean as he looks, but he’s scared. I think maybe someone wasn’t very nice to this big guy when he was growing up.”
“That was my gut, too.” Pike continued to use his “don’t wake the baby” voice, the one that would, hopefully, let this animal know that neither he nor Tulsi intended him any harm.
“Reece acts like she sends these horses to mess with Daddy, but sometimes she’s trying to save an animal no one else will take,” Tulsi said, stroking the horse’s neck as she spoke. “She’s not as hard as she pretends to be. She’s got a soft heart, though she hides it so well most people don’t see it.”
Tulsi sighed and whispered something only the horse could hear. Pike wasn’t sure what it was, but he was relieved to see the animal’s muscles relax and the giant begin sniffing Tulsi’s hair in exploration instead of flaring its nostrils in fear.
“I always thought I was her opposite because everyone could see mine,” Tulsi continued. “But I’ve done my share of hiding…pretending.” She pulled back, looking up into the horse’s eyes as she spoke. “I was so scared, Pike. I was scared of being hurt again and that the baby and I wouldn’t be enough for you, the way Mama and Reece and I were never enough for my dad. It was wrong and deep down I knew I’d made a mistake years ago. I just…I didn’t know how to make it better.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Pike said, wanting her in his arms so much it was all he could do not to jump the fence. But she was getting somewhere with this animal, and he didn’t want to put her in danger, so for now, words would have to do. “I’m hurt and sad I missed so much of Clem’s life. I hate that she went a day without a daddy to love her, let alone six years.”
Tulsi swallowed visibly and bowed her head, but the stallion wasn’t having any of it. He nudged her chin and she looked up, sniffing as she met his eyes and gently pushed his muzzle back down, showing him that she was still in charge.
“But in the end none of that matters,” Pike continued as he stepped down off the fence rail. “I’m not saying I’m going to get over this in a day or that we won’t have to work to figure out how to move forward without hurting or confusing Clem... But I love you, Tulsi. And nothing’s going to change that.”
“Not even this?” Tulsi’s shoulders lifted and fell as her breath shuddered out, but she didn’t break eye contact with the horse, who was now snuffling the palm she’d held up for him to inspect. “You really still love me?”
“I was thinking about love on the drive over,” Pike said, making his way slowly around the fence, closer to the gate. “And I think the country songs are wrong. You don’t fall in love; you choose it. You get close enough to a person to look into their dark corners and see things that scare you, but you choose to stay and keep loving them anyway. Because love isn’t meant to be sunshine and rainbows all the time. It’s beautiful, but it’s also painful. If you really love someone, you sign on for both, and when the painful parts come, you hold on even tighter.”
He stopped at the fence, eyes glued to Tulsi’s profile and the tears sliding slowly down her cheeks. “But whether we’re having a beautiful day or a painful one, I’m always going to choose you, Tulsi Hearst. You’re the only person I want to go through heaven or hell with. And if you don’t get out of that ring and close enough for me to hug you pretty soon, I’m coming in, and that horse and I can fight over who gets to sniff your neck.”
Tulsi smiled as she leaned in to kiss the stallion’s nose. And then she turned and started toward the gate. After a moment, the horse followed her with slow, easy steps, clearly having decided this human was a different breed than the people he’d encountered before—someone good, kind, and special.
Pike knew the feeling.
As soon as Tulsi slipped through the gate, he pulled her into his arms, crushing her against his chest, rocking them both back and forth as Tulsi cried.
“I’m so scared,” she said, her tears wetting his shirt. “I can’t live without her, Pike. I can’t imagine anything worse than waking up tomorrow and knowing I’ll never hold her again.”
Pike’s eyes filled with tears he didn’t try to stop from spilling over. “I know. I wish I could promise everything will be okay, but all I can promise is that I’ll be with you. No matter what.”
Tulsi clutched him tighter. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t believe in you.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t give you a reason to,” Pike said. “But I’m going to make up for it now. It’s me and you from now on. You’re not carrying this alone anymore. I’ve got your back.”
Tulsi’s fingers dug into his shoulders with a strength he knew most people didn’t realize she possessed. “I’ve got yours, too. I promise.”
“And that’s all I need,” he said, smoothing her hair from her face. He brushed the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs and met her sad, blue eyes. “We should probably head back to the hospital. I know they said two hours, but…just in case.”
Tulsi nodded swiftly. “You’re right. I want to be with her as soon as they’ll let me. Sometimes she gets angry when she’s scared. The nurses might need me to help talk her down.”
“I hope she wakes up throwing things and screaming every cuss word she learned from her Aunt Mia,” Pike said, taking her hand as they started toward the truck.
“Me too,” Tulsi whispered. “It could happen. She’s stronger than she looks.”
“So are you,” he said, opening the passenger door for her.
Tulsi climbed into the seat and turned back to look at him. “Thank you. For coming to get me.”
“Always,” Pike promised, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to her lips. She tasted sad and scared, but that was okay. He was signed up for all of it—every sweet, terrible, wonderful emotion, every peak and valley of the journey. His love was unbreakable, and there was nothing that would come between him and the woman who was his ever again.
CHAPTERNINETEEN
Tulsi
When Tulsiand Pike arrived at the hospital, Mia, Sawyer, Bubba, and Marisol were already in the waiting room, camped out in the far corner near the windows overlooking the parking lot. For a moment, Tulsi hung back, not knowing if she could handle a confrontation with Mia right now, but the moment her friend spotted her across the room, she jumped to her feet and hurried over with her arms outstretched.