“Lizzie?” Chase whispered through the door. His broken voice almost shattered what was left of my broken heart.
“Yes Chase, it’s me. I need to see you,” I called, in a demanding tone I had never used before.
I was running on pure adrenaline and I knew that I must have sounded like a wild woman, but I didn’t care. I needed to see Chase and make sure he was safe.
“Why? I am a piece of shit. You deserve better,” Chase called back to me.
“Don’t you dare say that, Chase! Let me in right now. I will decide if I deserve better or not,” I practically screamed this time. I was sure other guests at the hotel were thinking we were all crazy at this point.
I heard shuffling and then the door slowly opened revealing a very tired and defeated-looking Chase.
Shoving past him, I slammed the door as Avery and Jax tried to follow me in. I locked the deadbolt even though Jax was banging from the outside for me to let him in. Right now, this was about me and Chase. No one else mattered.
“What are you thinking?” I asked, as I spotted the empty bottles of tequila and beer littering the room. My eyes shot to a small pistol beside his bed stand and my anger amplified.
“I hurt you,” Chase said, as he looked down at the ground.
“Yes, you did,” I admitted. “But that doesn't make you a monster,” I pleaded.
“Lizzie, you are my life. Watching you hug Allan broke me. Something emerged and I became the monster I had been hiding. You need someone who is worthy of you,” Chase said, through gritted teeth.
I could feel how painful it was for him to say such awful things. As much as he wanted to believe what he was saying was true, I knew that we both understood it was a lie.
“I will not stand here and listen to you talk like this. Yes, I am very pissed at you for getting so angry. Yes, you scared the shit out of me when you attacked Allan. Yes, I am hurt that you could allow yourself to lose control like that. And, yes- I still love you more than anything.”
Shaking, Chase looked up at me and I could see the tears spilling from his gentle eyes. His hand slowly fell to the table beside him and as he grabbed the gun, he sucked in a deep sob. “How can you say that? How can you still love me?” Chase asked, as he raised the gun to his head.
I began to tremble as I knew I needed to plan my next words carefully. Chase was at his breaking point.
“Because it is true. Chase, no one has ever loved me before. Until you. Your love is intense and at times it scares me to my very core, but I know it is real. We are both broken people. Please, let’s work together to heal,” I said, as I boldly and possibly stupidly, placed my hand on the gun that was still tucked against the side of Chase’s head.
“Lizzie, you can’t leave now,” Chase cried, as he held the gun tightly to his head. Tears streamed down his face and I had to fight the urge to go to him. “You are right, I do need you.”
“Chase, just give me the gun,” I said calmly. My hand was still on top of the black weapon and I tried to remain still.
My heart was racing a million miles a minute and I could barely breathe. I loved this man more than I had loved anything else in this world. Chase and I both needed saving.
Dropping to his knees, Chase released the gun and began to sob uncontrollably at my feet. “I’m so sorry,” he spit out between tears.
Throwing the gun onto the bed, I fell to Chase and held him in my arms as he cried. I allowed his years of anger and frustration and hurt to spill out all over me. He needed this release just like I had before. He had held me while I cried and it was my turn to do the same for him.
“Forgive me,” Chase whimpered, as my arms were tucked around his neck.
“Always,” I smiled through my tears at him.
Placing a soft kiss on his cheek, I continued to hold him until he fell asleep in my arms.
****
Hours later, I awoke with Chase lying next to me on the floor. His deep breathing and restful face reminded me that we weren’t out of the danger zone yet. We still had so much to overcome but together, we could fight any battle we faced.
I ran my hands across his face and watched him sleep a little while longer until he began to stir under my touch. “Lizzie?” Chase asked, as his eyes opened, and saw me hovering above him. “You are still here.”
Nodding my head, I smiled. “Yes, I am still here.”
“I thought you would have left,” he admitted. I could see the humiliation he was facing and I didn’t want him to feel that way.
“I couldn’t leave you,” I sighed, as I kissed his forehead.