“I wanted to show you this,” Chase said, as he squeezed my hand. “This is my favorite place in the world. It’s called Red Rock Canyon. When I have a bad day or just need a place to be alone, I come here and sit for hours. I hike sometimes when I need a break from the world.”
“This is all so beautiful,” I stated, as I couldn’t take my eyes off the sky. “Thank you for showing me this,” I added.
“I’ve never shown anyone else this before,” Chase added, as he turned to face me.
I could feel his eyes on me and I was forced to turn my gaze from the sky to Chase’s dark eyes. In this light, he seemed to have hints of gold lining his iris that seemed to spark when he looked at me.
“Why me?” I asked. I didn’t intend for the words to rush out like they did, but I couldn’t help myself. For some reason, being in Chase’s presence caused me to lose fear and just say and do whatever I wanted. It was odd to me that someone I had just met could cause me to feel such power.
Taking both my hands now, Chase pulled me closer to him. “Lizzie, I don’t know why you can’t seem to understand this. There is something about you that pulls me to you. I have never wanted someone the way I want you. And, I just don’t want you sexually. Sure, you are hot as hell and I would love to fuck your pretty little brains out, but I also want to know you. To spend time with you. To just have you as mine,” he breathed heavily, as he stared deeply at me.
I felt like I was experiencing an out-of-body experience. I couldn’t understand how someone that was as sexy as Chase could even want or desire me in that way. I wasn’t anything special. In fact, I was sure once he learned my entire secret, he wouldn’t care about me anymore. All my life I had wanted to just be normal. To have someone accept me for who I am and not have to hide the true me anymore. Chase was giving me that opportunity to share my secret and be me. Every ounce of my being screamed for me to tell him the truth about who I was and why I was in Vegas. My heart was calling for me to stop and just walk away now. I wasn’t sure if it could handle any more breaks.
“Lizzie,” Chase began, as he grabbed both my small hands inside his. “I know you aren’t who you say you are. Please don’t be mad at me, but I tried to search your name… but it doesn’t exist,” Chase admitted, as he watched me carefully.
Anger. Sadness. Frustration. All these emotions swirled deep inside of me like a tornado. How dare he? Wait, why was I so mad? I had done the exact same thing to him, only, I got answers. I wanted to scream at him, to tell him he was wrong. But I couldn’t.
“Please say something,” Chase urged.
I knew he could read the whirlwind of emotions I was experiencing as they flashed across my face.
“I don’t know what to say. I am not who you think I am. I am not a good person,” I cried.
Placing a hand under my chin, Chase forced me to look up at him. “Don’t you dare say that, Lizzie. You may not be the person you say you are by name, but I know one thing for damn sure; you are not a bad person,” Chase said, as he stared deep into my eyes.
“Chase,” I opened my mouth to argue, but he cut me off.
Shaking his head, Chase placed a finger up to my lips. “Lizzie, don’t try to argue this. I know you feel what is happening between us. I can see in your eyes you want me, too. It was magnetic the way we just seemed to be connected when we first met. There is nothing that you could say to change my mind about this. I’m sorry I tried to search your name behind your back. I shouldn’t have done that, but I had to know more about you. But, I am here now. I want to know everything there is about you,” Chase said, as he watched me carefully. “Nothing you tell me will change how I feel about you. Nothing.”
This was it. My chance to send him running or see if Avery was right. So, I pushed caution to the wind and just said the hell with everything.
“Chase, I do feel it, too. I care about you. I want you in my life, but there is something I have to tell you. And, when I do, I am afraid you won’t feel the same way about me,” I quipped, as I felt my legs tremble. I was afraid if I did tell him my secret, then he wouldn't look at me with the same care and desire he was now. Chase had revealed a part of his life that was difficult to share. If I wanted to have any chance of feeling…well anything ever again, then I had to take the plunge and tell him.
“Tell me everything and let me decide,” Chase argued.
Taking a deep breath, I began. “This is difficult for me to share, Chase. What I am about to tell you is not only hurtful but embarrassing, too. Growing up, my parents hated me. I had a twin brother that died during birth and my parents told me from the moment I was born that I was the twin that should have died. They hated me and made me feel terrible about surviving. They never cared for me or even told me they loved me. I have lived my life pretending to be someone else and never knowing what it feels like to be truly cared for. Sure, I had boyfriends in school, but I never let any of them get close enough to me to see what an awful family I have or how truly messed up I am because of them. I have blocked everyone from loving me because the rejection that comes when someone stops caring for you is just too devastating to experience again. My friend Avery, well, she is the only person who has ever loved me.”
I stopped talking and brushed a tear away from my eyes. I hated that I was getting emotional. Sensing my pain, Chase encouraged me to continue. “Lizzie, keep talking. You need to tell me this.”
“I had always wanted to go to a design school, but my parents would never let me apply. They thought it was a stupid dream that would just bring more embarrassment to our family. So, they tried to enroll me in a local business school back home in Kentucky. I didn’t want to go, but I was so desperate for their approval I agreed. Then, after my high school graduation, my parents had a big cookout. I had just turned eighteen and they didn’t even celebrate my birthday,” I said, as I shook my head with anger. “Anyway, they had lit a million candles and I guess everyone was so drunk, they didn’t think to put out the fire before they went to bed. I awoke that night engulfed in smoke. I managed to escape through my bedroom window. When I found the strength to stand and walk around to the front of the house, my parents were outside safe. Only, they never thought to check on me. Everyone around the house, including my parents, assumed I was dead. They didn’t even send anyone in to get me! I don’t know why I was shocked,” I admitted, as I shook my head and closed my eyes to fight back the angry tears that were stinging my eyes. Slowly re-opening my eyes, I sighed before continuing. This was the difficult part to share. “My parents weren’t just controlling; they were plain evil. When I was a little kid, they would lock me in my closet and tell me if I opened the door to leave the space, a monster would kill me. They would do this anytime they wanted to leave the house, or had friends over, or just didn’t want me around.”
I shuddered as I remembered the fear I felt as a young girl, wishing for someone, anyone, to come and save me. But, no one ever did. Flashbacks to those dark days and nights caused my heart to flutter as I tried to remind myself I wasn’t a little girl anymore. I was safe now. “My mom used to beat me with a belt if I cried or didn’t do exactly as she told me to do. I learned over the years to just shut my mouth and allow them to control my life. Feeling invisible was far better than being locked away or beaten. So, when I realized everyone thought I was dead inside the house, I took that opportunity and ran to Avery’s house. We made a plan to leave and never look back. Now, Avery has a great family and they think she is just traveling the world and taking online classes. I have been working small jobs, saving enough money to come here and go to design school.”
I finished talking as my story quickly approached the present day. I waited patiently for Chase to tell me had to leave or that he didn’t still feel the same way anymore. Instead, though he did the opposite.
“Fuck them all,” Chase growled out, as his eyes were ablaze with an intense anger. “I want you to tell me where your parents are and I will go and I will instill the same fear and pain in them, they inflicted on you,” Chase said, as he began to pace around me.
It was like he was about to just start walking until he found the evil demons who had birthed me.
“Chase, it’s not worth it. I want to forget that life and start over. Please, I am begging you. Just forget about them.”
Chase looked at me with wide eyes for what seemed like an eternity. After a while, his shoulders sank and the red fire in his eyes faded away.
Drawing me into him, Chase placed his strong arms around me and hugged me tightly to him. Without thinking, I wrapped my arms around his waist and allowed myself to fall into his rock-hard chest. The tears began to pour as I felt a release. For the first time ever, I felt like I had someone who cared about me. Well, someone other than Avery.
Chase held onto me for what seemed like an eternity. His hold kept getting stronger and he just exhaled evenly into my hair. Finally, he broke our embrace. “Lizzie, I don’t have words to express how sorry I am that you had to go through that. Your parents are terrible people and you never have to see them again. You can be yourself here with me. I swear to you in my life, no one will ever hurt you again. Do you believe me?”
Standing firm under his touch, I felt so strong and confident. Both were emotions I wasn’t used to experiencing. “You don’t understand though. Everyone thinks I am dead. If I let people know I am alive, my parents will find out too.”