"Okay, no small talk, got it." I nod before continuing. "Tell me about him."
She pulls a half-smile. The fire behind her eyes ignites, and I realize that he has her whole entire heart. Jealousy overwhelms me because I used to hold that spot.
"He's pretty great. He was born 5 weeks early, so he was a little small, but he was a tenacious little guy. Didn't even need time in the NICU. His lungs were the only concern, and they were good. They kept him a couple extra days, but he was okay."
I feel my heart constricting in my chest, "When was he born?".
August 25th, he's a little over a month old." She fidgets with her nails in her lap.
"Did you have him here in Savannah?"
"Well, that was the plan, but it wasn't his plan. I was actually in the middle of a shoot when my water broke. I had him in California. We stayed a couple weeks then came here. Lexie and Bryce had the house ready for me."
"Blakely, I would've been there."
"Yeah, maybe." She doesn't exactly agree.
"You don't think so?" I scoff, rubbing my sweaty palms down my jeans.
"I didn't say that."
I take a breath and run my hand through my hair.
"So I'm a father," I admit, but mostly to myself.
"Only if you want to be."
"What the fuck does that mean?" I turn toward her. "Only if I want to be."
She scoots back a little in the chair, slipping her foot under her bottom nervously.
"I just mean you didn't exactly ask for any of this. I'd rather you decide now if you don't want to be all in. It will be harder on all of us later on if you decide to jet."
"That's my kid too. I'm not Ryan. I can take care of my shit." I immediately regret the words as they fall off my lips.
"JC isn't something you need to clean up. He's not some mess that you need to fix." She stands. "This was a bad idea."
I grab her hands and pull her back to the chair.
"I'm sorry, that's not what I meant. I've already missed too much, and I'm just pissed off." I take a breath and count to five to calm down.
"JC?" I question, immediately noticing those are my initials.
"Yeah, Jacob Chase. I've been calling him JC since he was born."
I feel my heart swell. She named him Jacob because she knew what that would mean to me. I feel my eyes glass over and I tell my brain that I'm not crying right now.
"Can I see him?" She raises an eyebrow, "Did you not get my picture I sent last night?"
"No." I cringe, thinking about how I reacted and the condition of my phone.
"Oh, well, here is a picture of him." She scrolls through her pictures and lands on a picture of a tiny baby with the darkest hair I think I've ever seen. His eyes are so green they almost look unnatural. He is wrapped in a dark blue blanket in Blake's arms. She scrolls to the next picture of a baby smile, and he most definitely has my dimples.
A wave of emotions come crashing into me, and I try to choke back anything that I might regret later.
"So are you going to let me physically see him, or is this tiny phone screen all I get?" Her defensive exterior goes up the instant I mention seeing him.
"I mean, right now?" She states, "Don't you have to work today?"