"Hello?" I answer, praying I hear her voice on the other side.
"Judson? It's Reese, Blakely's mom. Have you seen her? I can't get her on her cell?"
Actually, I haven't talked to her in 3 days, because I'm an idiot.
"Not today. I'll see if I can get her for you though, I'll have her give you a call."
I will find her. I have people combing the town for her as we speak.
"Thank you." She chirps, hanging up.
I decide to drive to Jay's apartment to see if Hanna has heard anything. The ride there seems longer than the usual 20 minutes. When I whip into the parking lot, I notice Hanna walking to her car. She jumps in and starts backing out before I can even get to her, intentional? I think so.
I feel a lump forming in my throat. Why is she avoiding me?
I take the stairs two at a time until I'm standing outside the apartment. I have a key but decide to knock, and Jay can just let me in.
After a knock and what seems like an eternity, Jay comes to the door. I push past him quick and frustrated.
"Have you seen Bla—" I am stopped in my tracks when I see Blakely leaned up against the kitchen counter.
"Jay, what the fuck! You know I have been losing my mind about this. I just wanted to know she was okay!" I take a step toward him, and he backs up a step.
"I-I'm So-sorry. She said she just needed a minute to breathe and think." He stutters and shrugs.
"Judson, don't yell at him." Blake's eyes me with a murderous glare, one I haven't witnessed.
"I'll give you guys a minute." Jay grabs his keys and walks out the door.
"Why haven't you been answering my calls? I have been worried about you. I thought maybe you left." I am still kind of pissed off because Jay covered for her.
"I didn't think you needed to talk to me. You made it pretty clear at the restaurant that we-" She motions her finger between the two of us, "aren't going to work." She pushes away from the counter, dropping her phone into her purse and grabbing her keys.
"Where are you going?" I ask. "You need to talk to me Blake, I'm sorry I shut down. It's just there's so much history and…" She cuts me off, "You don't need to explain Judson. It's fine. I guess we just jumped into this too fast."
What? She thinks we moved too fast? Before I can respond, she is headed out the door, but I am quick on her heels. She practically jumps down the stairs and stands outside a Honda.
"Did you buy this?" I ask her.
"No, it's a rental until I decide what I want. Which needs to be soon, I guess." She opens the door, and I push it closed, closing the space between her and the car seat.
"I love you, I do. I am just trying to keep you safe." She laughs and wraps her arms over her chest.
"Keep me safe from what Judson!" She yells.
"The shit storm that is my father. Blake, you don't know him. You don't know what he's capable of. I can't risk it."
She relaxes her defensive stance, "Judson, you can't protect me from everything. You have to let me make my own decisions. I love you, I want to be there for you, but there's only so much I can do if you won't let me help you."
I glance down at her wrist. I guess she is right. I don't have as much control as I'd like. The feeling of not being able to protect her makes me feel nauseous but not as bad as the thought of what my father is capable of. I can't form words as quickly as I would like. She reaches up and kisses my cheek before shutting the car door. Leaving me to watch her drive away.
CHAPTER 34
BLAKELY
December 31
Two weeks without so much as a single text from Judson, complete radio silence. He feels like a ghost, part of me feels like maybe the last two months were a dream after all. If I wasn't still in Savannah, I would probably think it was, but being here definitely makes the memories more vivid. I have been living in a small apartment near the college. My application was approved, and I will be starting this semester. It's the smallest studio apartment I've ever seen, but the rent is doable, and I actually like its character.