I sit in silence and can't help but think of my dad, I try to think of the good times, but I can't recall any. Not one time with my dad where I felt like I was the center of his world. Every decent time as a family included my mom, and even as a child, I could see that she deserved more. Even now that he has spent the past six years in prison, I haven't missed him. In fact, I've hated him. I've spent every day of the last six years wishing someone else was my father.
"I miss my Mom every day," I admit. "I don't talk about her all the time, but I do miss her."
She pulls her head off my shoulder and looks at me. She is so soft, and her heart is always on her sleeve, just like mom. She pulls me into a kiss. I feel her shiver. It's unseasonably warm but at times can get a little nippy.
"Are you cold?" I ask.
"A little." She scrunches her nose and shrugs.
"Let's go back to the truck, I'll get you a sweatshirt, and we can go get lunch."
She stands and stretches her hand out to mine. I haven't ever been a PDA type of guy, but with Blake, it's different. I want everyone to see she is mine. I hold her hand every chance I get, and best believe I will pull her into a kiss every chance I get.
"I'll drive," I tell her as we get back to the truck. She smiles and jumps up into the passenger seat and over the middle console to scavenge the backseat for a jacket. She pulls a gray Duke hoodie over her head.
"Never-ending supply of these, huh?" She laughs and pulls the chest of the hoodie out, and smiles.
"Proud Alumni, I guess."
The engine roars, and I pull the car out onto the road.
After an almost thirty-minute ride, we are back in town. I run into the sandwich shop and grab us some food to go, and we head back to the house. The truck tires hit the driveway, and I notice someone sitting on the steps. I can't really make out much even when we park. Blake glances at me and then back at the steps.
"Dakota?" She whispers as I push the shift to park and slip my seatbelt off. We get out of the truck and make our way to the porch. Realizing he isn't alone, he lifts his head from his hands. One of his legs is now in a boot, and his crutches are laid beside him. His hair is a mess, and his eyes look bloodshot and tear-stained.
I don't say anything as Blakely approaches him. She looks at me apologetically, then back to him.
"What are you doing here?" She asks. I stand behind her, close enough to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid.
"I just want to talk." He says, leaning over to grab his crutches to pull himself up. He is much taller than I would've thought and has an athletic build, but you can tell he is struggling.
She looks at me and then back to him. The last thing I want to do is leave her out here with him, but maybe she needs this as much as he does.
"I'll be inside if you need me." I kiss her cheek and make sure he knows by my stare that I will hurt him if he does anything to upset her and walk through the front door without Blake.
CHAPTER 30
BLAKELY
"What do you want, Dakota?" I demand and cross my arms over my chest.
His lonely, lost eyes connect with mine.
"Can you tell me about her? Please, I'm sorry, Blake. I just... I need to know what happened. It's driving me crazy, I can't eat, I can't sleep."
He runs his fingers through his hair frantically and huffs, "I'm so sorry for everything."
I take a seat on the step next to him. "She was tiny. Her hands were so small, she even had the most adorable amount of black hair already." I fight back the emotion and continue, "When I got to the hospital, they couldn't find the heartbeat, and I was already bleeding. They delivered her a few hours later, said it was early labor."
I can see the pain all over his face, listening to my words.
"Why didn't you tell me? I could've been there for you or helped."
I don't respond immediately. He pulls me into a hug, which catches me off guard a little. I pull away, stiff and confused. "I was scared, it was everything you wanted from me, and no matter how many times they told me it wasn't my fault, I couldn't shake the feeling that it was." I take a deep breath and turn to look at him, "I didn't tell anyone that she was gone. It almost didn't seem real if I didn't say it out loud. So the day that should've been the best day of my life was the worst. I lost two of the most important people in my life."
"Did you love me?" He asks bluntly.
"Of course, I did. I still do. I'm just not sure it's the kind of love that makes a marriage or family. Honestly, Dakota, I think we both deserve better."