"I can't explain it, and neither can you. You aren't only here because I want to have sex with you."
She scoots next to me and lays her head on my chest. It may be too fast, but this feels good. It feels right. At least for now.
CHAPTER 12
BLAKELY
November 7
I force my eyes open, confused. No dreams? I roll over to an empty bed and a note. Chivalry is not dead after all.
Went to get coffee, be back soon! X, Judson
I drag myself to the bathroom and freshen up a little bit. I rummage through my purse for my phone, powering it on. 5 missed calls. I go to my voicemail to see what Mom wanted. She was only checking in. It shouldn't be like this, but it is, and I don't want to talk.
I'm ok, mom. Love you.
There a bandaid text. That should hold her off a while. I sneak up on the boat deck and snap a few pictures. It's beautiful here, and I can't help myself. I quickly turn it back off and throw it back down in my bag. I hear the lock turn, and Judson pushes the door open with the cutest grin. I think this is how I like him best.
Casual.
Of course, last night was a breath of fresh air, but this is the version of him I don't think many people get to see. I guess that is why I like it the most. Sometimes when I look at him, it's like looking in the mirror at the other half of myself. I can't explain it because I barely know him, but I feel like I've known him my entire life. These past few days, he has been the glue holding me together, and I have to admit it's nice not always having to depend on myself.
"Vanilla Latte." Damn, he's good.
"How did you know?" I ask. Have to admit it's a little freaky, but I will drink coffee pretty much in any state.
“Just a guess.” He winks. He's insanely confident. To most people, I'm sure he comes off as an asshole. We make our way up to the deck, and Judson starts up the boat. The Intracoastal waterway is beautiful. All the boats docked, and massive houses are something to see. Of course, I can't help but feel out of place. Judson, however, looks right at home.
"What got you into boats?"
"It's a long story." He sighs, looking out into the water before fidgeting with the GPS.
"I thought we had the time?" I snap.
"Well, my dad was gone most of the time, and I didn't have any male role models in my life. I would go out onto the docks a lot as a kid and met a neighbor who always wanted kids. He took me under his wing and taught me about boats." He looks down, saddened.
"What's his name? Your old neighbor?"
"It was Russ. Jake Russell. I usually just called him Russ."
"Where is he? Where is your dad now?"
Is he dead? He said his name was Russ. Maybe I should just drop it.
"That's enough about me." He demands, quickly changing the subject.
"Where do you work, back home?"
"I do special accounts at the bank, but I hate it, and apparently, I'm the world's flakiest student."
He laughs. "Then why do you do it?"
"Gotta make a living somehow." I shrug.
"What do you want to do?" He questions. He sounds like my mother. She's always like, "What are you gonna do with your life" blah blah blah.
"I don't know. I thought I did, but as it turns out, it was what everyone else wanted except me." I look out into the water hoping for a new conversation.