"Of course I want to go, but let's be real, Judson. What is this? What are we doing? You know I don't live in Wilmington, right? I have to go back to the real world eventually." Her words hit me like a ton of bricks. I am relatively sure there is no color left in my face. The girl just sucker-punched me with her words. She is right. What the fuck are we doing?
"What if you didn't go back? Wilmington is real too, or anywhere."
Did I ask her to stay here for me?
"I don't think that is much of an option." She looks sad at her newfound realization.
"Well, I don't know what this is, but it's something." Well, that was forward, but the thought of her leaving pisses me off, honestly.
"Sorry." She grabs my hand. "I didn't mean to upset you. All of that doesn't matter right now."
"I don't want to think about never seeing you again." I down my entire drink.
"I think I need some air." She whispers.
Am I already smothering her? I don't know how to handle this.
She makes her way up to the deck with me close on her heels. I place my hand on her shoulders and give them a light massage motion.
"I forget things when I'm here sometimes." Her green eyes pierce up and see straight into my heart.
"Blake, when I told you that you are going to be okay, I meant it. One day you will wake up and feel better than the day before." A single tear wets her cheek. She is the first girl I have cared about since my mom died, and that scares the fucking shit out of me.
"You shouldn't have to keep doing this. I'm sorry. Maybe I should be alone. Maybe you should take me back." She pulls away from me.
I scoop her up and carry her like the princess that she is.
"You will never deal with anything alone. Not anymore." I carry her back downstairs and place her on the bed.
"You want another glass of wine?" I ask as I pour myself another drink.
"No, it appears the alcohol doesn't make me forget; it just makes me cry. So I'll pass. I don't want to be sloppy drunk for our not-date." I can't help but laugh at her. I introduced her as my wife.
"It is most definitely a date." I smile and pull her into my kiss.
"I don't think that's allowed. I'm a terrible person." She whispers into my lips.
"No judgment, remember?"
Our lips reconnect, and I push myself between her legs. My belt grazes her panties, and I unbuckle it. She undoes the buttons and slips the shirt off my shoulders. My hand tangles in her hair, and her lips against mine are the only thing I want right now. She starts unbuttoning my pants, yanking the zipper down. Her fingertips are on my hips, just underneath the waistband of my pants, ready to shove them down. Before we get to the point of no return, I muster up every last ounce of self-control I still have and pull away.
Brake-slam.
"Blakely, are you sure this is okay? I don't want to mess this up. Whatever this is." I breathe into her lips, dipping my forehead to hers.
She places her finger over my lips and pulls her mouth to mine. Our kiss is forceful like she is claiming me, and I am claiming her.
I slip my shirt over her head and move my mouth down her chest. Her touch is soft against my rigid body, sending tingles all over me. I feel her warm breath in my ear, and the tension between us is just too much. I open my eyes and look into hers.
Brake-slam.
She fumbles away from me quickly, "Wait, I can't. I, I don't..."
"It's okay. It's probably too fast." I push the hair back out of her face. She can't even look at me. I didn't want this to happen, but I can barely control myself around her.
"It's okay if you want to take me back to the house. I'm sorry. I don't know what is wrong with me." She yanks my shirt back down over her head.
"You aren't going anywhere. It's just there between us." I sigh.