She swallowed again, but she had known this was a possibility. She could not keep her whole life secret from this man, not if she was truly to go through with her plan to marry him. “If you wish.”
“I do.” He handed her up into the carriage, then swung himself up and gathered the range, clicking his tongue to start the horses.
The drive back to the manor wasn’t nearly long enough for her. All too soon, they were pulling around to the door, then Arthur was stepping down and handing over the reins to a groomsman before helping each of them down from the trap.
The Dowager bustled into the house, no doubt to draft a letter to the seamstress she had mentioned, along with any other business she had. Arthur turned and offered her his hand. “Shall we go, my lady?”
She laid her hand on his arm, rather than taking his hand, walking beside him as he led the way inside and upstairs to the family quarters.
She wasn’t surprised, though she was a little uncomfortable when she realized he was leading her into the study, where the entire series of events had begun.
Arthur led her inside and dropped his hand, stepping a few feet away to lean one hip on his desk. He studied her for a few moments, then sighed. “I would like to understand, dear Nora, this impulse you have to run away from me. Our first interactions I can perhaps understand, but today…” He trailed off, then shook his head. “I cannot comprehend it. I did not think you disliked the dancing lessons nor the kiss we shared. Did I read the matter wrong?”
In this, she could be completely honest. “You did not.”
“Then why should you flee from me as if I were accosting you in an unwelcome manner?” His tone was frustrated.
It was a temptation to make some demure excuse, one that would no doubt assuage his feelings and his ego. But no, she would be honest, if only for her own peace of mind. She looked him in the eyes. “It is simple enough. I do not trust you. I cannot trust you.”
“Why the deuce not?” A thread of anger entered his voice, and her own temper rose in response, helped not at all by the tensions she had experienced throughout the day.
“Why not? When our first real encounter involved me sneaking one of your well-known and many paramours out of the manor? When you attempted to seduce me by summoning me to your room when you were wearing naught but a towel?”
“I told you neither of those occasions were incidents I engineered.”
“And I might believe it of the first, but if you expect me to believe it of the second…” She glared at him.
“Devil take you, woman. Are you suspicious of everything?”
“When it comes to a man of theton? Very nearly.” She folded her arms. “And you did not help, pouncing on me and offering me that absurd proposal, which you yourself admitted was not meant to be taken seriously.”
He emitted a deep growl. “You barely gave me any chance to do anything else. You were avoiding me for the month beforehand.” He folded his arms as well. “And, on the subject of my numerous paramours that you seem to take such offense to... if you had paid one bit of attention, you would know that I have not had a liaison since I began to give my attention to you.”
“And I am supposed to be impressed by your forbearance?” She raised a challenging eyebrow and set her chin.
“I did it for you. To show you that my intentions were serious. That I truly wished to woo you.”
“And yet you did not mean to offer a proposal. So you meant only to bed me, another conquest to brag about to your friends.” She was not going to apologize for her feelings. He would accept her as she was, uncertainties and all.
“I have changed my mind. I should have thought that was obvious!” He shifted restlessly, pushing himself up sharply from the desk.
“And I should trust you will not change it again? Especially since you were soconsiderate…” She emphasized the word with all the sarcastic venom she could muster. “...to tell me our private lives would be separate, so long as there were no bastard babes. You might as well say you intend to shame me and make me a thing of ridicule.”
“It was not my intention to suggest anything of the sort. I thought I was giving you your freedom. And in any case, you are the one who insists on leaving the estate regularly to see your family. And no explanation of what ‘family’ they may be.”
She felt her face redden with anger rather than embarrassment this time. “That is my affair. If you cannot accept that, there is no reason to let this farce go further.”
“Farce?” His voice dropped suddenly to a low growl. In three steps, he was in her space, his hand rising to cup her chin with a firm but gentle grip. “You think it a farce?”
“Is it not?” She knew she was entering dangerous territory but couldn’t bring herself to back away. Not now. Her pride would not allow it.
He made another low sound in the back of his throat and leaned in, fastening his mouth over hers.
This kiss was nothing like the previous one. That had been claiming, a little demanding but not too forceful. This one was pure domination, harsh and commanding. His tongue flicked her lips, then plunged past them to plunder every corner of her mouth.
One hand swept around her waist, never breaking the kiss as he lifted her from the floor and moved, carrying her until he dropped them both onto a surface that she dimly recognized as the couch.
Arthur flung one leg over her but remained leaning over her rather than pressing closer. He finally broke the kiss to stare at her with smoldering eyes. “Do you still think it is a farce?”