“Of course, I’m not an angel. Gee, thanks, mom.”
“Oh, Lilly,” mom tells me, and despite the fact that we’re having a fun conversation, her voice is laden with worry. I know why.
“I’m going to see dad today,” I tell her. “Are you coming?”
“Of course,” she confirms.
“I can pick you up on the way there, if you’re home,” I offer.
“Yes, that would be nice, sweetie. Thank you.”
“Sure thing, mom,” I smile.
“How are you doing? Is everything OK?” she asks.
“Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?” I reply with another question.
I watch as Marley laughs loudly, running away with the rest of the children, while another girl is trying to catch them.
“Well…” I know the sound of that voice. Mom is worried about me again.
Every once in a while, we have this conversation, and I need to assure mom that I’m OK.
Which I am. I guess.
“I’m wondering if you aren’t maybe working too much,” mom expresses her usual concern.
“I’m really OK,” I tell her. But I know that when she starts this conversation, we have to do the whole dance and finish it.
“I know you would say that, because you are a tough little cookie,” she uses dad’s words this time, and something heavy clenches around my heart, like a weight pulling down, even lower than it already is. “But I’m afraid that you are missing out on the best days of your youth, being too focused on work and your studies.”
“Well,” I smile back, “what should I focus on, mom? Sex and drugs?”
I chuckle, but she doesn’t. “Of course not,” her voice is soft and motherly, as always. I know she worries. Sometimes too much. “You should go out with friends. You should have someone. A boyfriend.”
Someone.
I almost tell her that I do have someone, but I manage to bite my tongue in time. Because he isn’t my someone. I don’t even know why I thought of him right now. He is just my employer. Nothing else.
“I just didn’t stumble onto anyone interesting,” I tell her.
Immediately, I blush. Luckily, she isn’t there to see me, because she’d know that I’m lying. She always knows.
Besides, this instant blushing isn’t a good thing for me if I want to be a lawyer. Good lawyers don’t blush. Good lawyers don’t give a fuck. But I guess this isn’t the kind of a situation where I can say that.
“Of course, you didn’t,” mom assures me. “That is exactly what I am saying. You aren’t going anywhere. You aren’t giving yourself the chance to meet anyone you might like. All you do is work and study.”
I shrug. “It’s that kind of period now, mom.”
“I just worry about you, Lilly,” her voice is down to a whisper now, and I know this is where our conversation will end with me agreeing to go out more, although we both know this won’t happen, but I say that for her sake. It appeases her, at least for a little while.
“I know,” I tell her softly. “It’s what moms do. You can’t help it.”
“You are a smart ass, you know that?” she chuckles as she replies, and I know that the cloud which was just over her head passed her by. Again… at least for the time being.
“I know,” I repeat, laughing.
Marley turns to me at that moment, waving. I wave back, pointing at the watch on my left hand, signaling that we should get going soon. She nods, then runs back to her friends.