My mother smiled sadly.
“You are always so busy, I thought we might have a nice lunch and talk about the future.”
“I’m supposed to go out to Kyle’s on Sunday,” I said, even though I had no such plans. “What about the future?”
“You and Taya. I want to talk about setting a date.”
I put down the bottle of water and got myself some coffee. This topic of conversation required something stronger.
“Why now?”
“You’ve been together almost a year now, right?”
“Yes.”
“And you’re happy together?”
I nodded.
“Then I think it is time to start thinking about the next step, don’t you? Wedding plans take time and I’m sure she will have a very specific idea of what she wants.”
I tried to think of the best way to respond.
“You’re not getting any younger, you know?” my mother said.
“And Taya won’t wait around forever,” she warned. Then she added, “Her mother and I had tea earlier in the week, she mentioned they were going to France in the summer. She also said it was quite a lovely spot for a wedding.”
It all made sense now. The mothers had been plotting and Taya and I were expected to simply toe the line.
“I am not sure that Taya and I are at the point where we are ready for marriage,” I said.
“But you have spoken about the future, together, haven’t you?” my mother asked, with more emphasis. When she had introduced me to Taya months ago, she had made a point of telling me how suitable we were for each other, both of us from good families with established means. She liked Taya’s bearing and manners,she had on many occasions pointed out how well she would fit into our family. She’d invited Taya for lunch and on shopping outings, informing me afterwards how pleased she was with Taya.
I gave a sigh. “I’m not ready to get married, Mother.”
“Matthew.” Her voice was dangerously soft. “You must get married. You know this. It is your duty. To your father, to me. To this family!”
My mother’s voice was rising.
“Mother,” I tried to calm her down.
“It is the only thing you must do! In this life! It is the only thing I have ever asked of you!” Her eyes were wild, wide open, her hands shaking as she gesticulated wildly. I thought she might have a stroke.
“Mother, please! Calm down!” I walked up to her, grabbing hold of her arms.
She blinked a few times and seemed to come to herself, then wrenched free from my grip. She took a few shallow breaths.
“This is all I have ever asked of you!” She had turned to face me again, her eyes burning coals of fire.
“To do your duty to this family! Do you think you can find it in your spoilt, rotten heart to do that?!” she spat the words out like poisonous darts.
“Yes.” There was no other answer to give.
She glared at me one final time before turning away and walking up the stairs.
I had to sit down after that. It had rattled me, I had to admit that. Scenes with my mother were rare but when they happened, they were deeply unsettling. Her emotional state had always overshadowed everything else. I had so little memory of my father. He was always working, always off on some trip. Then, one day, he didn’t come back. But that accident had really cost me both my parents. The depression that overtook my mother after myfather’s death, plunged her into a deep, dark hole and nothing seemed to help. She went from one hospital to another, one retreat to the next. I went off to school and whenever I came home, I was always told not to upset my mother, to be as agreeable as possible. I would sit by her bed, and sometimes she would tell me stories of my father, of his dreams for the company and the things he wanted to do; all thethings I would do in his stead as soon as I could. “You will finish what he started,” was one of her favorite sayings.
I thought of what she wanted me to do. Marry Taya.