“No. MMA.”
“Oh wow. Like Ruben used to?”
“Yeah. Ruben trains me. You like MMA?”
“Oh well, my ex was into it. I watched a bit here and there. Football is more my thing. But I have so much respect for what you guys go through to be the best. So,” Kimberly said, moving around the bed and sliding her hands down Ava’s hip, “you any good?”
“You’d have to ask Ruben.”
“I just might do that.” Kimberly now used both hands to work the outside of Ava’s thigh. “Can you open them for me a bit, hun?”
It took Ava a second to understand Kimberly meant her legs. She shifted slightly, and Kimberly gave her a tap on the arse.
“It’s OK. I’m not going to bite you. Well, not unless you ask.”
Ava spread her legs further.
“There we go,” Kimberly said, working both sides of her thigh now, slowly teasing her way up and down.
“See? Not so scary.”
“Scary isn’t the problem. This feels way too good. I don’t want it to stop. Like, ever.” Ava made it out as a joke, but bit and held the flesh of her thumb in her teeth and closed her eyes as those fucking hands drove her insane. Ava was talking so much to get her mind away from thinking about Kimberly’s bust and about how glad she was that a towel was underneath her. Even opening her legs that little bit further, told Ava she was wetter than she thought. She’d never been touched like this. Was it normal to be this aroused? Fuck, it was crazy intense. If Ava was ever unsure about her attraction to girls, Kimberly and her hands had confirmed it.
“I probably should’ve warned you my clients seem to get a common affliction when it comes to me. They fall in love.” She sighed loudly through a cheeky laugh. “Don’t worry. It’s perfectly natural, what you’re feeling.”
Ava’s eyes snapped open. The last sentence Kimberly spoke repeated in her mind, over and over again. First slow, then speeding up. Her soft, pleasant voice replaced with a sinister one. A deeper one. Saying the same sentence while touching her.
“No.” Ava rushed the word out.
“Hm?”
“Stop.”
Kimberly lifted her hands slowly from Ava’s thigh and moved towards the head of the bed. “Are you OK, hun?”
Ava froze. The fact she was naked in an unfamiliar room with a person she didn’t know suddenly washed over her. The sentence didn’t stop. In her mind, she was right back in Van Gould’s office. Vulnerable, helpless and alone. Where no one came to help. No one cared enough to.
She scrunched her eyes, covered her mouth and burst into tears, sobbing into her fingers.
“Oh...” Kimberly began, sounding devastated, “Ava, I’m so sorry. Did I say someth—”
Ava moved her hands from her mouth to her hairline, burying her face in the towel. “Stop. Please... just go away.”
Ava heard the door close and cried harder. It wasn’t Kimberly’s fault. She knew that. Kimberly didn’t know that sentence would trigger a reaction. But it was instinctual, and Ava couldn’t help it.
She hadn’t thought about that day for so long, focusing on her training. Maybe she buried it. But it was a truth, and truths, no matter how sinister, never stayed buried. Ava didn’t feel strong anymore. She didn’t feel in control. Her joy at her victory was now forgotten. No matter how often she told herself she was OK, she knew Van Gould and her parents had taken something from her that day. Something she could never get back.
All she wanted to do was move on and be happy. But, no matter how far she got toward achieving true happiness, was she always one step from crumbling back down? Was this her life now? Would it ever get any easier? Would she ever be free of it?
Familiar hands touched her. And though she gave a jump, she was instantly relieved the boys had come back. They asked her what was wrong, but she couldn’t tell them there. She just wanted to get dressed and go. She’d tell them in the car or at home. When the nightmare of Van Gould’s voice stopped repeating in her head.
9
“Thanks,”Ava said, accepting the tea handed to her by Chris. She sat on the couch, knees up to her chest, dressed in sweats and socks. She had told them what happened, and out of respect, they hadn’t pressed, letting her process as best she could. Even their silence was comforting, but in the end, it didn’t help.
“I feel so awful,” she said, resting her hand on her forehead.
“Babes, that’s understandable. Awful isn’t even the word for what happened to you.”