“No, you sure didn’t.” Atlas's voice cracked, he was so damn proud of Declan.
“And you know what?”
Atlas shook his head. “What?”
“I told myself that if I kept trying and if I was really good, someday someonewonderfulwould want me and I was right!”
“You are the most…” Atlas reeled for a moment as he tried to find a word that could contain all the reasons why Declan was amazing. “You are the mostbeautifulperson I have ever met. Inside and out, Declan. I’m so sorry the world treated you like you were unlovable, but you’re mine now and no one will ever make you feel that way again.”
“I know better now, but you’re all I need,” Declan stated, suddenly defiant as his chin tipped back. He humphed and snuggled up closer, making Atlas feel like he was truly strong enough to carry the world.
ChapterFourteen
“Ifeel like a whole new person,” Declan declared, stretching and humming contentedly. He’d dozed off for a bit and it was better than a dream, waking up in Atlas’s arms. He was supremely tickled with the turn the evening had taken. “But I still have to take my meds,” he noted when he glanced at the clock behind Atlas on the bedside table. His nose wrinkled at the thought of leaving Atlas’s bed, but Declan had to take his Celexa and Xanax if he wanted to keep enjoying his weekend. “I’ll be right back.”
“I should get up too. I’m supposed to feed you,” Atlas said, chuckling as he sprang from the bed and went to retrieve his clothes. They were scattered about the room. Declan swiped his boxers off the end of the bed and hopped into them as he jogged into the hall.
He tripped into the door across from Atlas’s room and Declan was stunned as he pushed it open. “Holy…” His eyes grew wider and wider as he took in all the shelves and all the boxes, figurines, and framed posters. He hurried to a wall of Funko Pop! boxes and Declan’s jaw fell. “He has all of them!” He quickly realized as he scanned all the names and round plastic faces. EveryStar Trekcharacter was displayed in its original box, making Declan’s fingers itch.
Declan turned in the middle of the room, then gasped when he realized the rug he was standing on was a giant Federation logo. “Holy shit!” He whispered and gasped at what looked like a shrine to Captain Sisko. There were several signed, framed photos of Atlas and Avery Brooks.“Holy fuck!”Declan yelled, suddenly jealous.
“No, don’t—!” Atlas crashed into the room, his right arm shoved into the sleeve of a t-shirt.
“I’m sorry! I thought this was the guest room,” Declan said, swinging around.
“No. It’s my…” But Atlas’s voice broke and he was turning red as he shielded his face. “It’s my nerd cave. I’m a blerd.”
A delighted laugh burst from Declan. “You’re a blerd!” He confirmed as he pointed at Atlas.
“Yeah.” Atlas nodded and shrugged, looking embarrassed. He was the most adorable thing Declan had ever seen and his heart felt like it was going to explode; he had never felt more like he washomewith another person in his entire life.
“I love you!” He said as he ran to Atlas.
Atlas was stunned but he laughed as he caught Declan. “What?”
“Ilove Star Trek!Next Generationis my favorite, but the whole franchise was my life when I was a kid. It was theonlygood thing in my life when I was a kid,” he amended.
“Really?” Atlas looked breathless and relieved.
Declan nodded. “Yeah! I used to watch the original series with my Grandpa Dennis when he was still alive, butNext GenerationandDeep Space Ninewere the only things that kept me going when I was in high school and no one wanted to be seen with me.”
“I’m so sorry,” Atlas said, but Declan waved it off.
“None of that matters,” he stated, then stopped and held up a finger. “Or, maybe it matters because I was always meant to be with you. I’d happily go back and live through all of that again for this.”
“Come here,” Atlas groaned as he gathered Declan’s face in his hands. His lips trembled as they clung to Declan’s. “I love you too. So much, it kind of scares me.”
“Why?”
“Because I’ve seen how far I’m willing to go to protect you, how much I’m willing to compromise. And it turns out, I’m not as good or as strong as I thought I was.”
“Nope.” Declan shook his head. “You can’t toss out a vague confession and expect me to just believe that you did something wrong.” He pointed and did his best to be stern when Atlas opened his mouth to say it didn’t matter or change the subject. “You told me this wouldn’t get you in trouble.”
“No, I said that my relationship with you wouldn’t be a problem for the FBI. And it hasn’t been. It’s more of a…moral issue. I made a big fuss about it, but IwantedLavender to kill Eddie Flanigan. I crossed all the t’s and dotted all the i’s because I had to do a thorough investigation, but I was relieved every time we processed a piece of an arm or a leg and the results confirmed it was Flanigan. And Lavender saw right through me. He knew that I wasn’t there to wag my finger at him. I was there to thank him for taking out a threat and for making you untouchable.”
Declan’s jaw fell and all the color drained from him as he finally put the pieces together. “He was coming to kill me?”
“It doesn’t matter anymore. I thought I was slipping and going over to the dark side, but Paul, Dad, and Lavender—ironically—helped me work all of that out.‘A guilty conscience is a small price to pay for the safety of the Alpha quadrant. So I will learnto live with it. Because I can live with it,’”Atlas said, quoting Captain Sisko and making Declan swoon all over again.