“How does that make me any better?” Atlas challenged, but deep down, he needed Lavender to give him a glimmer of hope. He wasn’t expecting to have a full-blown crisis of conscience and an identity crisis but that was exactly what was happening.
Lavender gave Atlas’s shoulder a gentle, reassuring punch. “You’re better because youcouldhave used me to neutralize Flanigan and protect Declan. You knew, and instead of cheering me on and wishing me well, you tried to reason with your peers on a soulless hitman’s behalf.”
“I wasn’t worried about Flanigan’s soul,” Atlas said, making Lavender sigh.
“I was talking about the other hitman. You didn’t want Flanigan to die, but you were more worried about the consequences. And you want me to be that man,” he explained, hitching his thumb over his shoulder. “You’re enamored with the normalhumanyou’ve befriended and you were afraid that killing Flanigan would jeopardize that. What you have to realize…” His hand tightened around Atlas’s shoulder and his gaze hardened and became severe. “…and what you should never forget is that no matter how much you may like me, I am still a monster. I’m a gentle and benevolent monster to those I allow in my lair, but I’m a danger to you out there and you can’t protect me. Not from myself, the FBI, or other monsters.”
“What do you mean, you’re a danger to me?” Atlas asked quickly, not liking the shift in Lavender’s tone. “I hope that wasn’t a threat.”
“Not at all,” Lavender replied silkily, his lips curving into a smile. “It was a warning because I see just how much you’ve taken after Paul. Don’t try to interfere for my own good or head me off. Ask him how that went with Aiden’s sister. And learn from our first dance with Flanigan,” he said, startling Atlas again.
“What do you mean?”
“I knew you were watching me throw that stone and you’d be waiting and ready to learn.”
“I don’t want to be your pupil,” Atlas insisted, shaking his head.
“Liar.” Lavender’s eyes widened seductively. He tipped closer, his head angling so he could whisper in Atlas’s ear. “Tell me you weren’t pleased with my work and that you wouldn’t love to knowhowI did it.”
“I mean…” Atlas croaked and licked his lips. He didn’t appreciate Lavender’s omniscience when it was aimed at him. “I can’t stop you so I might as well learn from you. There are some criminals I’m still allowed to hunt and I’m hoping I can learn from my mistakes here and become a smarter agent.”
“Oh, you’re so close!” Lavender said as he put his arm around Atlas, guiding him away from the rifles and toward what looked like tasers. “You aren’t making mistakes and you’relearning! That sounds like a strength to me, and it will make you an even better agent. In fact, it’s your curiosity and hunger to go where no agent has gone before that I like most about you,” he said warmly, but Atlas froze.
“What?” He asked, his voice hoarse. Atlas’s face began to tingle as Lavender picked up a small taser with a sleek grip.
“I don’t have anyphasers,but this would certainly stun.”
“How did you know?”
Lavender tapped his lips and shushed. “Your secret and your shopping history are safe with me. And Reginald,” he whispered, then stopped Atlas when he opened his mouth to object. “You have been analyzing my entire existence for several months and you know I employ hackers. You weren’t expecting that?” He said.
“I…didn’t think anyone would be all that interested or that there was anything to find.” Atlas didn’t have any dark secrets, except that he was secretly a mega nerd. And the hackers and the omniscient assassin now knew just how profoundlyuncoolAtlas was despite the smooth, competent agent facade he’d spent years perfecting.
“Au contraire, I find you very interesting and I’m looking forward to working with you in the future.”
“So much for laying down the law,” Atlas muttered, making Lavender hum in amusement.
“An amusing attempt. We’ll give you an A for effort.”
Atlas slid him a disgruntled look. “You know, I used to wonder why Paul didn’t try harder and wasn’t more firm. But now that I’ve met you, I get it. There’s no getting the upper hand with you and every time I think I have the hang of this, I realize you’re playing a different game.”
“Now you’re getting it,” Lavender said with a wide, enigmatic smile. “It took years for Paul to accept that it was futile and that he might as well join us.”
Instead of feeling reassured, Atlas felt like he was sinking even faster. He’d come to rein in the hitman, but instead the hitman had seen into Atlas’s soul and found an admirer, a pupil, and a friend. And Lavender had proven how much Atlas was willing to bend for Declan.
Lavender didn’t see anything wrong with it, and Atlas knew most people would have done the same thing if they had been in his shoes. But what would Declan think if he found out that Atlas had looked the other way? What would he think if he learned that Atlas had secretlyhopedthat Lavender would wipe Eddie Flanigan off the face of the earth and strike terror in the heart of anyone who so much as looked at Declan wrong?
That would have been a red flag and enough to send Atlas running if the shoe had been on the other foot. Especially if the other person was a federal agent who had taken an oath to protect and defend, not run to an assassin as soon as his crush was in trouble. But that was what Atlas had done, in essence, and he was ashamed of himself as he said his goodbyes and headed next door to see Declan.
It wouldn’t be long before Declan found out how much Atlas was willing to compromise for him. Atlas just hoped he could prove he wasn’t a clingy, over-protective creep before Declan learned the truth about Flanigan. Because if there was one thing Declan could do, it was run. And all he had to do was toss a change of clothes in a backpack and get on the next flight out of Chicago if he decided to run away from Atlas.
ChapterFour
Atlas looked rattled when Declan answered the door. It was hard to know if it was more unsettling that Declan could tell with just a glance or simply the fact that Atlas was unsettled. He was always so confident and comforting, Declan felt a flicker of panic knowing Atlas was worried.
“What’s wrong?” He demanded as he pulled Atlas into the house.
“Nothing,” Atlas replied, plastering a bright smile on his face. “You know what Lavender’s like,” he said dismissively, but Declan heard a slight waver.