“Christ, I’ve missed you, angel. I know why you ran from me. I know you were scared. But no one will find us here. No one knows about this place. You and I can stay here safely, angel.”
He grinds into me with his thick, muscular body. I feel his bulge between his legs as he grinds into me, kissing my neck with such hunger. A growl rumbles up from his chest. As if I needed a reminder of how much of a man Gage is. My next breath fills my nose and lungs with his scent, overloading my nervous system with memories of our last encounter.
“I’ve been dreaming of your sweet hole, angel. How it feels to stretch you around my cock. You don’t know how badly I want that.”
He slips a hand up my shirt. I can feel the hunger in his grip as he squeezes, moves his other hand between my legs and applies pressure. I can feel my body begin to respond too. Those instincts that only Gage has been able to awaken inside me come alive and tell me to let him have his way with me, tell me to submit and be the little girl for my daddy again.
“Tell me you want that,” he growls, hooking his thumb into the waistband of my pants.
But then I look up and see the tear in his jacket and the blood dripping down his arm, and the reality of what we just went through crashes through the fantasy of what’s happening like a cold bucket of water in the face, and I sit up to face him.
“Gage. I…I can’t do that.”
The pain I feel when those words slip from my lips is indescribable. But it’s nothing compared to what I feel when I see his reaction in his eyes.
It’s like watching the walls of a mighty castle come crashing down. There’s a moment of regret where I wonder if I should have said what I just said, but then I think back to what just happened, and I know this is the choice I have to make.
“Angel…” Gage’s voice is the softest I’ve ever heard. “You know how much I need you. These men will never harm you—”
“How can you promise me that?” I shout, leaping to my feet. I’m a pot boiling over. I didn’t realize just how panicked I was until this moment. “How did those men find me, Gage? How do you know you weren’t the one who led them to me?”
More pain floods over Gage’s face. The things I’m saying are destroying this man—this man who has saved my life multiple times now. I feel the cracks beginning to form inside me too, but I can’t hold back from speaking the truth. And this is what I believe.
I wish it wasn’t.
I wish I could be like one of the girls in my books and make this all better, but this is the real world, and in real life things, don’t always end up the way you want them to.
“What is it you’re saying, angel?” For the first time since I’ve known him, Gage’s voice isn’t solid as steel. There’s a hint of weakness, hesitation. Something I never thought I’d see from a man who is always so sure of himself. “You don’t trust me?”
I feel awful. I can’t even meet his eyes as I slowly shake my head. “I…I don’t know.”
Something inside me crumbles. Is this what it’s like to love someone you shouldn’t? Someone you can’t?
6
Gage
She doesn’t trust you.
I guess I should have seen it coming. An innocent girl like her was never meant to be caught up in all of this. I should have done a better job keeping her from any of it. Sure, I saved her life, but I allowed her to be dragged into the very depths of the hellish world I’ve been clawing my way out of since I met her, and there’s no excuse for that. Now she can’t distinguish me as her savior from one of the other devils intent on her destruction.
If only she understood how badly I need her. My angel. The only girl I ever allowed myself to fully want. These last two weeks have been torture. I’ve had to learn to live with the constant ache in my heart from being away from her. It’s like suffering from some kind of disease and the only cure is her. Even the pain from the bullet I took is nothing compared to the thought of losing her.
I move off of the couch and go stand by the window. The lake is still as the morning light begins to show in its waters. Billie’s scent still lingers in my nose, and the unbridled desire I have for her is as potent as ever, but my head is spinning like a top. I barely even feel the pain in my shoulder despite the wound.