I checked my bag for the one-hundredth time, making sure I had everything I needed before heading out the door to the beginning of the rest of my life. So dramatic, but it’s exactly how I’ve always looked at college.
I felt guilty for the thought that it was also an escape. Mom wasn’t all that bad, just a tad bit overprotective, bordering on overbearing at times, but she means well. And if I’m being honest, I do miss her, kinda.
My first class was biology, my favorite subject, which was good since I wanted to go on to medical school in the very distant future. This was one of the reasons mom was so adamant that I focus more on school than hanging out with my friends because she knew the long road ahead. It was a sense of pride with her that her daughter sought such a lofty profession.
As was my habit, I didn’t pay much attention to anyone else in my class other than the professor as the enormity of where I was hit home. I had drilled it into my head that I had to excel here, that I had to shine from day one if I wanted to make it in my chosen profession.
I’d done all the research I could on becoming a specialist in the field of pediatric cancer and knew I had to be better than good. It was imperative to me to be the best I could be in all things, and the thought of all the little ones I could possibly save in the future was my driving force.
I listened and followed along, drinking it all in, fighting the queasiness in my chest as the fear of failure nipped at my heels. I fought it back the way I always do and forged on. Nothing is impossible to understand as long as I stay focused.
One class drifted into another, and it was soon time to break for lunch. I answered a text from Jess and headed toward the cafeteria to join her for lunch. All in all, my day so far has surpassed all expectations.
I was becoming more and more excited as time went on when it sunk in that I was really here. And though this was the vehicle to my future dreams, there was room for growth in other ways as well. In short, I was enjoying my newfound freedom and the excitement that came with being on my own for the first time.
Jess saw me enter the cafeteria and waved me over to her side with the widest smile. I couldn’t help grinning at the way she seemed to have settled in in such a short time, which was evident by the number of kids at her table, both male and female.
I can’t say that I’m really surprised, though; Jess is just that kind of person, the type that people were automatically drawn to. “Hey, guys, this is my friend that I told you about.” She introduced me around, and I grabbed the one seat that was left at the table as they said their hellos before carrying on talking about whatever it was they’d been discussing before I showed up.
Jess had already filled her tray, so I dropped my bag on the seat she’d saved me and looked towards the food counter. The place looked completely different from the night before on account of how many bodies now filled the seats, and I felt just a little bit self-conscious.
I wasn’t about to act like a big baby, though, and ask Jess to walk with me, so I bit the bullet and put one foot in front of the other with my eyes trained straight ahead. Why am I so nervous?
The place wasn’t much different from high school except for all the new faces. But somehow, it felt different; I felt different. The strange feeling followed me all the way to the lunch counter.
I felt as though every eye in the room was on me and fought the urge to turn around and run back to my seat. I consoled myself with the thought that it was probably just someone checking out the new girl.
It was pretty obvious that though school had only started a few weeks ago, everyone pretty much knew everyone else, if not by name, then by sight. And just like high school cliques had already formed or were in the starting stages, and members of the opposite sex were circling each other in the age-old mating game.
I bypassed the carbs and fried foods and chose a salad and some fruit. Don’t be fooled; I have a horrible sweet tooth, and my stash of mini candy bars was waiting to be devoured as soon as I returned to my room at the end of the day.
But I find that if I eat too heavily this early in the day, I tend to grow lethargic, so fruit and salad it is. Not to mention the fact that I hate exercise, so my eating habits have to be on a tight leash. That’s one thing I have to thank mom for; she’d passed on her self-control when it came to food and nutrition to me, to a point anyway.