Practice was almost over, and I couldn’t wait to get back to the dorm so I could put my plan into action. I’d forgotten all about that Jeff guy who’d been sniffing around her when she first got here, but from the way he’d been staring at her today, I’m thinking he wasn’t over whatever the hell he had going on.
As far as I know, she’d never given him the time of day, didn’t even know him really, so I didn’t see a problem. But maybe I should be looking at him just as hard as I was looking at Susie. It’s just a thought, but better safe than sorry. Besides, someone was wearing that jersey with my number, which wasn’t much to go on since anyone can now buy them. But he’s a place to start, if nothing else.
I was over most of my mad, at least where she was concerned, but I’m still pissed at whoever sent it. She’s been contrite the whole day, which kinda killed any hard feelings I still had, and besides, I don’t think I can stay mad at her for too long; it just doesn’t feel right.
I’ve gone so far as to try putting myself in her place, something I wouldn’t have wasted my time doing for anyone else, and realized that I would’ve lost my shit if I was the one on the receiving end. So, it’s only fair that I let her off the hook for jumping to conclusions.
I have to make it up to her for not picking her up this morning, but I had good intentions when I made that choice. I get the feeling, though, from the way she’s been acting all through lunch, and after that, she’s got something on her mind. Maybe she thinks that I’m still mad at her.
I looked back up at the stands where the three of them were in deep conversation. I went back through the emotions of the night before and realized that of everything, my biggest fear had been losing her. I’d even dreamt that things had not turned out well, that I wasn’t able to prove my innocence, and in the dream, she walked away.
I’d woken up in a cold sweat with fear and loss climbing up my throat. That’s when I knew for sure that her and I weren’t ever going to end. That feeling of loss, I’ve only felt it one other time, when my dad was diagnosed for the second time. The fear of losing someone you love feels different from any other fear I’ve experienced, and that’s what I felt for a little while last night.
I wonder if she realizes. If she’d felt the same pain and loss when she thought I’d betrayed her. Knowing her, it’s probably a given and the reason why I’m going to destroy whoever was behind it.
LISA
“So, who should we ask?” We’d been brainstorming all evening, trying to come up with a plan of action, and came to the conclusion that since none of us were part of the crowd that hung around Cody and the team, we’d have to cull one from the herd so to speak.
“I think Steve might be the weakest link.” Jess looked towards the field where the guys were busy running drills.
Usually, I would’ve given up on the idea by now. Since Cody had forgiven me and the worst was over, I’d been programmed to just let things be, but for some reason, maybe because it was the first real issue I’d be dealing with on my own without my mother standing in front of me to protect me, I wanted to see it through.
Or maybe it’s the way I felt, that feeling of helplessness mixed with pain and fear that was compelling me just this once to stand up for myself. To most, it might be just another run-of-the-mill situation in the game of life, but for me, it’s much more than that. Someone had tried to steal the first real happiness I’ve ever had.
I didn’t even know these things were possible. Yes, I’m sheltered, but that doesn’t mean I’m dead. Still, it’s a bit of a shock that someone would actually be that malicious. That someone I didn’t know and had never harmed had set out to hurt me in this way.
I know it wasn’t aimed at him because I’m the one who received the picture, which means it must be a female behind it, plus the fact that I know no one here, so there couldn’t be some lovesick male trying to come between us. That was the first thing we had to figure out, though, and it’s also the thing that makes it that much harder to solve.
According to Alexis, who’s been here longer than Jess and I, it could be any one of the females on campus who’ve been vying for his attention over the years. But since they can’t all be crazy, I needed to find out if there were any that stood out above the rest. Any who’d seemed less inclined to accept rejection. That’s where Steve comes in.