Fuck that! I refuse to walk on eggshells around someone I was growing to have feelings for. I was hurt and was damn near terrified when I couldn’t reach her, and what’s more, it was through no fault of mine. I refuse to be held accountable for some shit I didn’t do and would never have done.
I turned to tell her just that and found her looking at me with regret and fear. So, what did I do? Instead of reading her the riot act as I’d intended to, I pulled her into my chest and held her. I guess I know how this shit between us is gonna go.
LISA
I think Cody’s really mad at me and trying his best not to show it. I wish I could explain to him that this was all new to me without sounding like a complete fool, but my heart was still hurting too much to think of the right words to say. It was my first real heartache, and I wasn’t prepared.
Seeing who I thought was Cody wrapped around some other girl had been like being hit by a truck; I felt like I’d just suffered a debilitating illness, and even now, knowing the truth, that feeling still lingered. It was going to take some time for it to dissipate, I guess.
I’ve dealt with disappointment before; who hasn’t? With a mom like mine who said no to every party I was ever invited to from the age of five until Jess came along, I’ve dealt with my share of ups and downs and fractured dreams when it came to getting my hopes up. But nothing compares to the pain I felt when Alexis showed me those pictures.
It scares me to think that life can have such drastic changes in the blink of an eye and without warning. The term blindsided seems rather apt in this situation. And even though it’s turned out to be a hoax or a prank or whatever, I still experienced that pain; I still have the shakes because for a few hours today, it was real.
But if it wasn’t a hoax or prank, just boys being boys and playing a game on each other, then did that mean that someone deliberately did this? Jess seemed to think so all along. Funny how I’ve always listened to her any other time, but the one time I should have, I let emotions get the best of me.
It was just too hard to see past the pain to hear the truth in her words. She’d sworn that something seemed off, had even questioned Alexis like a well-heeled attorney until the other girl swore up and down that it had not been her behind it. It helped that she, too, was upset by this turn of events. And though Jess had a few good points, one being that I was the first girl he’d shown any interest in on-campus, something I’d heard whispered about since it became known that we were a couple, I still let myself believe the worst.
But now that the air has been cleared and it’s looking more and more like this wasn’t someone’s idea of a sick joke, then someone had intentionally set out to hurt me. Someone had taken the happiest time of my life thus far and turned it into a few hours of hell. They were the reason Cody was now walking so quietly beside me.
Even though he has his arm around me, I can still feel that he’s upset. So, they’d taken that place away from me as well. Cody had become my safe space, my happy place. Not in a weird clingy sort of way, but in the way of first love. He makes me feel in ways I didn’t even know existed.
Since I’d never had a relationship before, hadn't ever been in love, I was like a toddler who got into everything. I had no fear. Now I know what the fear of heartbreak feels like; that, too, this person had given to me. “What’re you thinking about so hard, babe?”
Babe, he called me babe. Does that mean he’s no longer upset with me? I really suck at this girlfriend thing. And why do I feel so miserable and out of sorts when he was the one who got framed? “I was just thinking of who could’ve done this. Do you have any ideas?”
He seemed a bit hesitant, but then he just shook his head as he wrapped his arm tighter around me and kept walking back to his truck.
CODY
Yeah, I have a pretty good idea who was behind that shit, but without evidence or proof of any kind, I can’t say or do anything. Plus, I’m not about to show my famous temper around her; she’s too soft to handle that shit—time to change the subject. I’d forgotten why I was in such an all-fired hurry to see her tonight.