"Once. But mostly, it was just weird and creepy." She looked at me with serious eyes. "Don't tell Mom and Dad."
"I'll tell anyone I need to tell to keep you safe."
She shook her head vehemently. "It's not a problem now. It just made me question my choice in men, you know?"
I nodded. "As long as you're safe."
She nodded and grabbed another scoop of popcorn. "If I met the right guy, I would commit in a heartbeat, though. Wouldn’t you love to have something like Mom and Dad have? Before Sam and Kate imploded, you could just tell that there was a lot of love between them. I would love something like that. Wouldn’t you?"
"Yeah, I would." The words were out of my mouth before I could think better of them.
"Really? I thought we decided you were a confirmed bachelor."
I took a sip of my beer, unable to articulate what was going on in my head. There was no denying that I was in love with Amelia and that I was dying to see her again. Or that those two facts scared me shitless. But Vivie was right. Seeing my parents’ happiness, and Sam's, I couldn't help but want that level of joy in my life. Was Amelia the one who could do that for me?
There was no doubt that the happiest I'd been over the last few weeks had been with her. And it hadn't been hard, like my mom said love needed to be. Amelia and I talked and laughed, and the sex was tremendous. Maybe it was time I gave a relationship a try. I would still sign the annulment papers, but maybe we could still give a relationship a try. I could talk to Sam about starting on the Las Vegas club sooner. He'd already brought it up.
As Vivie pressed the button to start the movie, I sat in my chair, staring at the screen but not seeing the actors. Instead, I was thinking about what I could say to Amelia when I went to Las Vegas in a few days to convince her that we were more than just an affair.
CHAPTEREIGHTEEN
Amelia
It was strange how I was much more excited about seeing Max than about celebrating Christmas. Granted, Christmas wasn't a joyful time of year for me like it was for most people, but since James and I had left home, we had found ways to make it more joyful than it had been growing up. Over the last few years, I would get a tree, and he would come over, and we'd drink spiked warm apple cider while we decorated it.
This year, my cider wasn't spiked, although I didn't tell James that. I hadn’t told anyone about the baby. Not even Max. I had an equal amount of anxiety and excitement about seeing Max, wondering what he would do when I told him about the baby. The last several nights, I had dreams of our being a family. Every morning, I woke up chastising myself because I knew fairytales weren't true. But that didn't stop the wish that it could be true. As the day of Max's arrival drew closer, though, more and more, I wondered if it could be true. Maybe we weren't ready to be married and have the picket fence, but when we were together, we always got along. Even if he didn't love me like I loved him, he had to at least like me or he wouldn’t have spent all that time with me. Maybe we could build on that. Maybe he would develop deeper feelings for me.
Of course, if we were going to be a family, I wanted it to be because he loved me and not because he felt obligated due to the baby. That left me with the question of figuring out how I would know if he was with me out of love or obligation. And once again, I was driving myself crazy with questions and thoughts. Questions that might be answered today when Max arrived.
Because of the sensitivity of what I needed to talk to him about, I invited him over to my townhouse. It didn't seem like telling him about the baby was something I should do in a hotel.
I checked my watch, noting I had a half-hour before Max would arrive. It was late in the afternoon, and I’d done everything I needed to prepare for his visit. My home was clean. The ingredients for dinner were prepped. The lights were sparkling on the tree.
At the knock at the door, my stomach did a somersault, but it wasn't from the baby. It was excitement at seeing Max again. I went to the door, jerking it open. My smile was beaming, ready to see the man I loved and to tell him we were having a baby.
"Hello, Amelia."
My smile dropped. "Dad. What are you doing here?" Panic began to boil up. I couldn't risk my father knowing about Max. Inwardly, I cursed. I should have arranged to meet Max at the hotel like we did last time. These were the types of mistakes one made when they let their emotions get the best of them.
He arched a brow. "Are you going to let me in?"
I didn't want to let him in, but I couldn't think of a good excuse that wouldn’t make him suspicious. Maybe I could see why he was here and get him out ASAP.
I opened the door to let him in, but I stayed near it so I could open it again to escort him out. "What brings you by?"
"Can't a father stop by and check on his daughter?"
I crossed my arms over my chest. "You've never dropped by before."
"Yes, well, I realized that I haven't been a very attentive father.”
That was an understatement. The only time he paid attention to either James or me was when he needed something.
“James and you are living your own lives. I don't know what's going on in them except for what I hear through the grapevine."
In my father’s world, the grapevine wasn’t simple gossip. His grapevine was the eyes and ears he paid or coerced to keep him in the know in Las Vegas. My heart sped up as the panic grew. Had his people discovered my relationship with Max? Or the baby?
"Have you dropped by James's place too?" I hoped my voice sounded steady and calm even though inside, my nerves were shaking.