Whatever Jacob did to it, he’s left it so the other guys can turn it from the outside too.
When I push the door open, Zian is waiting for me, all six-foot-five of him looming over my much smaller frame. When I slip onto the small landing, there’s only a few feet of space between us.
I used to take comfort in his impressive size, but that was when I knew he’d only use it to protect me.
Not so much now, even if the sight of his massive body still sends a tingle through me that I can’t explain. His expression looks strained, the normally warm peachy undertones to his brown skin dulled.
Because he isn’t happy about how the others are treating me or because he isn’t happy they’re keeping me around at all?
Not the kind of question you can ask and expect a useful answer. I stretch my arms and glance toward the door between the two bedrooms with a twinge in my bladder.
“I need to use the bathroom.”
Zian nods awkwardly and steps to the top of the stairs. “Just be fast.”
The bathroom smells like artificial lemon from whatever the staff used when they cleaned it after the last occupants. I use the toilet and then splash water on my face, peering at myself in the mirror.
I’m not looking so great myself, my pale skin even ashier than usual other than the dark smudges forming beneath my eyes. I pat some water on the wisps of hair that are coming loose from my braid.
My hand rises to the lump of my cat-and-yarn pendant that’s back under my shirt. I run my fingers over it, and a lump fills my throat.
None of this is going the way I pictured. None of this feels good.
But maybe I deserve it, even if not for the reasons the guys think.
I let them down. I was in the lead, clearing the way, and I got caught up in a silly impulse rather than keeping all my attention on making sure we were safe.
Griffindiedbecause of me. I’ve never forgiven myself for that, so why should they?
Which means it doesn’t matter what they think or say. All that matters is that I have to stick to the mission now—and do whatever it takes to keep these four men safe, because even after the hell they’ve been putting me through, I can’t stand the thought of losing another of them.
With a renewed sense of resolve, I leave the bathroom and march stoically down the stairs ahead of Zian.
I don’t like how sluggish my limbs feel, but at least the nausea hasn’t expanded too much yet. When a whiff of greasy cheese and tomato sauce reaches my nose, my stomach gurgles with hunger rather than queasiness. By the time I reach the dining room, my mouth is watering.
The other three guys are already sitting around the table with a couple of pizza boxes popped open in between them. There are only four chairs, but they’ve pulled over one of the armchairs from the living room, which Andreas has sprawled in with one lanky leg over the arm and his plate balanced on his belly.
He looks perfectly at home with that jaunty pose in his casual Henley and jeans—and as delicious as the damned pizza.
Not that it seems like he’d appreciate my thoughts on the matter at the moment. I tear my gaze away.
Jacob catches my eyes and jerks his hand toward the chair across from him. “Eat. No hunger strikes.”
“I wouldn’t want to starve,” I inform him calmly, and pull off a slice of pepperoni and peppers.
Zian lets out a discontented rumble, looking over the offerings. “No meat lovers?”
Andreas arches his eyebrows teasingly at the bigger guy. “Take what you get, Zee. When was the last time you had the chance to eatanykind of pizza? It’s not like we don’t all know you’d rather be chowing down half a cow anyway.”
Zian scowls at him without any real hostility. His love of every sort of meat—and knack for inhaling vast quantities of it—has been legendary among us since we were kids.
A trace of a smile touches my lips. At least a few things haven’t changed.
Ihaven’t eaten fresh pizza since one of my last missions years ago. Occasionally, my meals in the arena building included a slice or two, but always cold and a little stale, like they were leftovers from someone else’s dinner a couple of nights before.
The first bite of this slice fills my mouth with the perfect blend of tart tomato, salty cheese, and spicy pepperoni. I can’t restrain an eager hum of satisfaction.
Four gazes snap to my face. My skin heats five degrees in an instant.