We return to our booth and I drag out the paperwork I brought with me along with a pen. Placing them on the table, I press out the creases, giving AJ an embarrassed smile. He’s watching me closely, and I think he’s hiding his amusement behind his hand, but I can still see the crinkles around his eyes. “Sorry. I dropped them when I got out of my car.”
“That’s okay. What are all the papers for?”
“Uh, well, this is a questionnaire”—I hold up one set of papers—“for you to complete. And this one is a little information about me.” I hold up the other set of papers.
His eyebrows rise. “Can’t we just chat? Does it need to be so formal?”
I shift in my seat. I was worried he would say that. “We can do that, but would you mind completing some parts of the questionnaire? They’re related to your genetic and health history. I tried to remember the information that was provided through the clinic, and I replicated it as best I could. I just want to be sure.” I lick my suddenly dry lips.
God, has the temperature risen? Suddenly, it’s incredibly hot and uncomfortable in here.
“I get that.” He holds out his hand for the papers, and I place them in his palm.
His eyes drop to the document, and he holds out his hand for the pen, which I quickly hand over. I started with the most straightforward questions—age, blood type, height and weight, history of drug and alcohol use, and his level of fitness—so he’s working quickly. His eyes rise to mine and a smirk lifts his lips.
A server delivers our food to the table and once he leaves, AJ asks, “Why do you need to know how many sexual partners I’ve had?”
Uh, I just added that one out of curiosity. I skate my gaze around the café and shift in my seat. “To make sure you won’t be hooking up with other women while I’m trying to get pregnant. If you’re used to taking home different women every weekend, then that would be unacceptable for me.” It’s not like we’ll be having sex, but I don’t want to worry about him contracting an STD while I’m trying to get pregnant.
Lines form across his forehead as he shakes his head. “I’m not like that. And while we’re trying to get you pregnant, I won’t see anyone else. I promise.”
At his genuine answer, I blow out a relieved breath, and the tightness across my shoulders releases. I don’t know why the idea of him giving me that level of commitment was so important to me. It’s not like we’re going to be in a relationship. I smile. “Thank you. That’s … that’s a relief.”
He drops his eyes back to the paperwork, and I take a shaky sip of my coffee. Even though I ordered a slice of banana bread, I’m not sure I can eat it. My leg bounces nervously beneath the table, and I drop my hands to my thighs to stop the action. While he quietly completes the form, I stare out the window watching people pass by. Pregnant women and women pushing strollers. Men and women holding hands and couples with babies. It’s like that’s all I ever see around me and I desperately want that.
AJ clears his throat. “I … uh … actually helped my sister and her wife get pregnant about four years ago and again about three months ago. So I guess, technically, I already have two kids … well one, with another on the way.”
My eyebrows rise with surprise. “How exactly did that work? That seems a little weird.”
He chuckles. “Oh yeah, I guess it does. Hayley, my sister, and her wife, Lisa, went through a fertility clinic. Lisa’s the one who carries the babies, and by using me as their donor it meant our family’s genetics were passed on to their child.”
Well, that makes sense. I had this weird vision of him impregnating his sister. “Oh, right. That’s amazing. I would never have thought of doing something like that.” I drop my eyes to my banana bread and break a piece off. “So does their child call you Daddy?”
“At the moment Colton calls me Uncle AJ because that’s the role I play in his life. When he starts asking questions about where he came from, we’ll sit down and explain to him that I’m his biological father in terms appropriate for his age. It’s never going to be a secret. If he chooses to call me Dad from that point on, then so be it. It will be his choice at that time. The girls and I discussed it at great length before we went ahead with the donation.” He rubs the back of his neck. “Is that going to be a problem?”
“No, not at all. Do you think your sister and her wife will want their children to have contact with this child?” I didn’t really think about what would happen if he already had kids. I could still be tied to AJ and his family for life through this child—ifit happens. “Actually, do you need to check with them if they’re okay with you doing this?”
He leans back in his chair with a sigh and brushes his hand through his hair, messing up the strands, his bicep flexing. And what a bicep it is.Stop looking at his bicep, Sarah. I internally roll my eyes at myself. “I hadn’t considered that. Maybe I should have a chat with them about all this before we move forward. Make sure they’ll be okay with it and what their preference would be. I’m sorry. I hadn’t really thought about this fully. I tend to be a little spontaneous sometimes.” He releases a deprecating laugh.
Oh shit! Did he even think this through at all? Hewasvery quick to offer his … uh … services to me last weekend. “Look. Maybe this is a bad idea.” I place my hand on the papers to draw them back toward me but AJ places his warm hand over mine, stopping me in my tracks. His hand is so much bigger than mine with a tan that only comes from spending time outdoors. He squeezes gently and I lift my eyes to his.
“What did I say to upset you?”
His expression is open and genuine, curiosity evident. “I wondered if you’d really thought this through. You were quick to offer to help me last weekend and maybe you should have taken time to consider all of the ramifications of such an offer.” I swallow past the lump forming in my throat because if I walk away today, I’ll have to go back to my original plan and it’ll be at least twelve months before I can afford to try again. The backs of my eyes sting and I blink to keep my emotions in check. “I don’t want you to rush into something that requires a significant amount of thought and consideration. You’ll probably meet the woman of your dreams one day and want to start a family with her. This could end up being an issue for you.”
He leaves his hand resting on top of mine, and I take comfort from his warmth, even though I shouldn’t. He glances out of the window for a moment, then brings his eyes back to mine. “I know I was quick to offer my help, but that’s because I’ve already gone through this process and I know how happy it’s made Hayley and Lisa.” The love for his sister is clear. “Had I ever thought I would do the same for a stranger? No. I can’t say I had ever considered the possibility. After leaving you on Friday night, I went home and gave the whole idea some serious thought, and I decided to follow through with my offer if you reached out to me. The only aspect I hadn’t considered was how my decision may impact my sister and her family. I’ll talk with Hayley and Lisa, but I don’t think there’ll be a problem. Would you want this child to have regular contact with his or her half-siblings?” Creases form between his brows.
“To be honest, I hadn’t considered this possibility. I knew when I was going through the fertility clinic that the possibility of half-siblings was inevitable, but it’s a little different because I never met those donors face to face. There’s a level of anonymity. The thought of family connections hadn’t crossed my mind.” Now I feel like a hypocrite for accusing him of not thinking it through when I’ve pretty much done the same thing. “If you don’t mind me asking, how will it work for you when you eventually settle and want to start a family? How will you deal with the half-sibling issue?”
He shrugs. “I don’t really see it as an issue.”
Hmmm. I’m not sure how I’d feel knowing a prospective partner offered to be a donor to a complete stranger. Hang on a minute. That’s exactly what the guys who donate their semen to the clinic do. Why am I making such a big deal about AJ doing it?
“So, how did things work with your sister and her wife, exactly? Did you sign anything?”
“As I already told you, they went through a fertility clinic. They used my donation to do it, which reduced the cost somewhat, but they still had to pay the fees. I had to sign the documents the clinic requires a donor to sign.” I nod as he explains. “I assumed we would skip the clinic, but is that how you want to do this?”
“I was hoping to do this without the clinic because it would mean I can try again sooner. But if you would feel more comfortable doing it that way, I can wait.” Fingers crossed he’s happy to skip the clinic.