I wondered why she told him about the baby but not that I hadn’t told Sam yet. More likely, she’d told him the day I took the tests.
"It's all right, Ethan. I'll handle it."
He set a mug of water in the microwave, programming it, and then turned around, leaning against the counter as it heated the water. "He has responsibilities, Kate. If I remember correctly, the reason he left five years ago was because of those responsibilities. Why would he not do that now?"
Good question. In fact, when Sandra showed up with Chelsea, he didn’t seem mad that she hadn’t told him about her. Why was he acting differently with me? Doubt about his feelings for me grew, as did my conviction that leaving was the right thing to do.
But I didn’t want to go into all this with Ethan. "I told you it's not a problem. Let me and Sam deal with it on our own."
When the microwave beeped, he pulled out the glass and put a teabag in it. He brought it over to the table and set it in front of me as he pulled out the chair and sat down next to me.
He took my hand. "I know what I said last week at dinner about your life being incompatible with raising a child. But I want you to know that I know you're capable. And I know that deep down, you’re filled with love. Even if you don't want to give it to anybody else, I know you will give it to this child."
Tears filled my eyes even as a little bit of anger simmered in my gut. What did he mean that I didn't want to give love to anyone else?
"Lucy and I are here for you. Whatever you need, whenever you need it, okay?"
I nodded. "Thank you. I'm glad I won't be alone."
He inhaled a breath and sat back. His eyes narrowed, telling me he was about to impart something I didn't want to hear. "You're not alone, Kate. And if you ever feel like you are, I think you need to look in the mirror to see why. I know it's scary to let people in, especially after what happened with Sam and with Grandfather. But life is so much sweeter and more colorful when you let others in."
He stood, leaning over to give me a kiss on the head. "You get some rest."
I was irked, yet too tired to protest. "Thank you, Ethan."
"Of course." When the door shut behind him. I left my tea on the table and went back to my room, climbing into bed and pulling the covers over my head. I suppose it was a metaphor for how I’d lived my life over the last five years. Keeping the world out. But I had started to let Sam in, and look how that ended.
CHAPTERTWENTY-SEVEN
Sam
I went into the kitchen, grabbing the potatoes and taking them to the sink, scrubbing them. When that was done, I brought everything I needed out onto the sun porch to peel them.
"Sam." My mom's gentle voice came from the entry to the sunroom.
"I don't want to talk about it, Mom. Just let me take care of these potatoes."
When I didn't hear an answer, I slanted my gaze toward the door and saw that she left. Hopefully she'd let everyone else know that I was in no mood to talk.
"Well played, Kate," I murmured. It was hard to believe that she would do something so cruel as to set me up to break my heart to punish me. Didn’t she know that leaving her five years ago was painful for me too? My heart split into two, just like hers had. Whether she did or didn’t, she decided it needed to be broken again.
As much as I hated peeling potatoes, I had to admit it was a good solitary activity, allowing me to take out my frustration. Of course, it would take more than peeling potatoes to fix what Kate just broke in me.
When I finished peeling, I brought the potatoes to the kitchen. I put a large pot of water on the stove to heat, then I pulled out a knife and cut the potatoes into large chunks.
Max entered the kitchen. "You want some help?"
I shook my head, still too angry to speak. Thankfully, he left me alone.
When I got the potatoes into the water, my mom came up to me, resting her hand on my arm. "Want to go upstairs and take some time? I'll finish the potatoes and call you when it's time for dinner."
I looked at her, feeling gratitude. For a moment, I was a little boy wanting to break down and cry while my mom soothed me and made everything better. But this wasn't some little scrape or bruise. Kate eviscerated me.
I looked at her. "Why won't she listen to me? Why wouldn’t she forgive me?"
She pulled me, in holding me. "I don't know, honey." She pulled back, pressing her palms against my cheeks. "But don't lose hope."
I scoffed. "I have no hope to lose, Mom."