There was a pause on the other end of the line. "And?"
"And I want her back."
"Do you think she’ll take you back?"
"No." Her feelings about me were the only thing I was sure of.
"So that's it? Because the odds are against you, you're going to give up?"
I must've expected him to say something along the same vein as Ethan and Zach because I was surprised by his response.
"No." I wouldn’t give up, although I didn't know how I would get past her defenses enough to begin the process of winning her over again.
"Good. You deserve another chance."
Max's words stayed with me throughout the day. Did I really deserve another chance with Kate after what I did to her?
Especially after how everything ended up with Sandra?
That night, I lay in bed, my thoughts still rattling around and making it difficult to sleep. But as exhaustion finally won over and my body succumbed to sleep, my brain continued to think of Kate.
She appeared in the same dream she often did. It started out as my plan to win her back five years ago. Months after I’d left Kate and brought Sandra and Chelsea home with me instead, everything had changed except for the regret and devastation at having left Kate.
I did what I could for Sandra and Chelsea, finding them a place to live and getting Sandra a job with Briana’s brother, Devin Roarke’s, business. My parents helped her as well, sometimes taking care of Chelsea.
With the two of them settled, I returned to California to find Kate and bring her home with me. My goal had been to resume the plan we’d initially made—get married and live in New York. At first, she’d been understanding about the situation with Sandra, suggesting that she could be Chelsea’s stepmom. I hoped she still felt that way.
As I made the cross-country flight, I fantasized about how it would play out when I saw Kate again. It never happened, of course, but that fantasy continued to haunt me, showing up in my dreams.
In it, I’d find Kate at the condo. She was sitting on the bed as I rushed in, eager to take my life back. She was crying, which wasn’t a completely accurate depiction of her. She cried a little bit when everything went down, but when it was clear that I was leaving, the waterworks stopped, replaced by a hard shell and complete disdain for me.
But this was a dream, so she was crying. When she looked up and saw me, hope filled her expression. I rushed to her, dropping to my knees and declaring how much I loved her. I kissed her then. All over her face. I pulled her close, laying us on the bed and holding her, promising that I’d never let her go. She held me back, asking me to never leave again. Okay, so the Kate of my dream wasn’t exactly like Kate in reality, but I suppose my dreams were hopes and wishes.
Soon, my hands were roaming her body, rediscovering the woman I’d nearly lost. I kissed her sweet lips and then tasted every inch of her body until she was gasping and chanting my name. Only then did I think about my needs, sliding inside her body. Home. Finally, I was home.
I moved in and out of her, her name on my lips over and over. I was in fucking heaven.
I shot up in bed. I ran my hand over my face as the dream faded. “Fuck.”
Like always, I woke before release came. It was like the universe was tormenting me. I could experience Kate only for so long, but then I’d be punished by waking before orgasm.
I deserved it and so I never did anything about it. But as I looked at the tent my dick made in the sheets, I decided this time would be different.
I whipped the sheet off, shoved my boxer briefs down, and wrapped my hand around my dick. I conjured Kate back into my mind, but not the fantasy of what I wanted five years ago. No, now I was in Kate’s club. Her sharp eyes were on me as I walked toward her.
“It’s our time,” I said to her.
“It’s about damn time.”
My chest filled with relief and love. I tugged her close and kissed her again as I stroked myself. I pushed her to a table, lifting her onto it. The need to be inside her, to claim her, was insane.
Then, as happens in dreams, we’re naked, and I was fucking her hard and fast, fueled by her cries of pleasure. Her tits bounced, the pink nipples tempting me. I bent forward and sucked one into my mouth as I thrust.
“Fuck!” My hips bucked up, cum spraying onto my belly and chest. I got out of bed to go to the bathroom to clean up. I looked in the mirror at the man I was today.
Was he good enough for Kate?
Probably not, considering what I did. But I could be a better man. I could be whatever fucking thing Kate wanted or needed me to be.