ChapterTwenty-Six
Ice cream should be recategorized as a major food group, Beth decided as she dug into a pint of her favorite Ben & Jerry’s cookie dough flavor. It was essential for drowning your sorrows in, even in the middle of winter.
Not even the cold snap which saw below freezing temperatures and a smattering of snow was going to stop her indulgence in the creamy, calorie laden goodness.
Right now, she was curled up on her bed with a snuggly blanket wrapped around her. It was cold enough in New York without the difference in temperature between here and the Caribbean, which she hadn’t acclimatized to, so she was feeling the cold particularly hard.
Of course, ensconcing herself in the soft, fluffy fabric had inevitably reminded her of Mitch, Jed, and Sawyer, and how they had wrapped her in a subbie blanket after their scenes. How they had taken so much care of her; and that just added to her sadness.
The one thing quitting her job had achieved was that she had plenty of free time to look over the information they’d given her for their company, & Co. So that’s exactly what she had done, and it was the one thing that had brought a touch of joy to her day.
The work made her feel close to them at a time she was feeling particularly lost, and she had sent them an entire dossier of information that was probably far more than they were expecting from her.
She’d included potential business leads, a comprehensive breakdown of their collateral costs and ongoing expenditure, topped off with a subscription fee analysis and suggestions on how they could widen their services.
She hoped they didn’t think she’d overstepped, but it was too late to worry about that, since she’d already emailed the information.
Beth shivered as the wind gusted outside and the heavy plink of hail rattled against her windowpane. Dumping her empty ice cream container on her bedside table because she was too cold to take it to the bin, she snuggled down beneath the heavy duvet.
After being cuddled up with her three lovers every night, even her modest double bed seemed far too big with just herself in it.
Her heart ached and she knew that what she was feeling went much deeper than simply missing them and wishing they were here to keep her warm with their young, virile bodies pressed, sensuously, against her.
She felt old and jaded again, Beth realized. While she’d been in their presence, Mitch, Jed, and Sawyer had made her feel young and carefree. Not just because of the age difference, that was only two or three years. But because of their enthusiasm and their positive outlook. When had she lost all that?
Shivering, she jammed her arms underneath the covers to keep warm. Inevitably, her hand drifted lower, across the soft mound of her belly until she found the hidden jewel between her legs.
Beth closed her eyes and brought the faces of Jed, Sawyer, and Mitch into her mind, replaying some of her favorite scenes in her head as she strummed practiced fingers across her sensitive nub. She squeezed her breast and tweaked an aching nipple with her free hand, pinching and twisting, just like they used to do.
But the orgasm, when it came, was nothing more than a muted pop and a soft drift of something pleasant, but by no means mind blowing.
And afterwards, Bethany found she just felt worse.
Sometimes having to be solely responsible for your own pleasure only served to highlight how lonely you really were.
Now was one of those times.
Instead of feeling fulfilled and sated, Bethany rolled over in her cold, lonely bed and realized just how sad and isolated her life was.
She’d never considered herself the type who needed to be pampered and indulged, she’d always been fiercely independent and self-sufficient. But having someone - three someone’s - taking care of her had been something else. Something she’d never really missed, never thought she’d needed, until she’d experienced it first-hand.
And now she was back home, she mourned the loss.
It had meant something extra special for someone else to take control and to know she didn’t have to shoulder that constant responsibility herself. Oh, she could manage just fine. But it was nice to have a break from it. And from the rest of the monotony.
Her home was a small, unappealing high-rise with no outdoor space. Her job - her former job - was dog eat dog survival of the fittest. This week had proved nothing, if not that. Her best friend - her only friend - was busy being loved up with three guys of her own and wasn’t that the ultimate irony! And somehow, she was deathly afraid that she’d been careless enough to lose her heart somewhere on a small tropical island, in the middle of the ocean, a thousand miles away.
Beth yanked the covers up under her chin and contemplated whether it was worth getting out of bed to find a second pair of socks. She hadn’t switched her heating off, but neither had she turned it up, too aware that she was going to have to conserve every penny of her final paycheck.
She lifted her head and smashed it back down onto the feather pillow in disgust. And what the hell was she doing feeling sorry for herself like this? When had she become such a pathetic loser?
The irritation with herself had her throwing the covers off and diving out of bed despite the cold, as she dashed to get her laptop. Then she dialed the heating up a notch on her way back. Stuff sitting here shivering!
It was time to take control of her life again.
Powering up her MacBook, Beth surfed the web until she found the information on Elysium. How many times had she asked herself if she should apply for a job there? And that had been before she quit her own. There had to be a vacancy page somewhere on their website.
Finding it and scouring their openings she was disappointed to find nothing in accounting, but there were other jobs; plenty in the housekeeping and restaurant departments.