They locked my door. My backpack was still in the living room, and my phone was too.
It was only the following afternoon when I realized I wouldn’t be meeting Trask that I allowed myself to feel sorry. But what would I have told him? It was for the best, maybe this would be enough, and he’d realize it was too much trouble. I was too much work.
My fingers ghosted over my swollen cheek and lips and despite the pain, I could still feel the sweetness in his kiss, and I hated him for making me want his touch.
10
TRASK
It was eight o’clock when I decided to call it quits. I’d been waiting for over two hours, sitting in my truck listening to music and sketching the trees. I’d texted her, once, twice. Nothing. And like a sad dog lured away, I decided to finally head home.
It hurt worse than I thought it would, being stood up. I thought maybe I could swing by and see if she was okay, maybe her car broke down, that was more than likely the case considering how it seemed to always be on the verge of collapse. But it still hurt knowing she wasn’t with me when she said she would be. It was like some sick part of me believed, deep down, I owned her time. And the sicker part of me wanted to growl at anyone who looked at her. I’d made her breathless with a pen and a sheet of paper. I’d been the one to get her undivided attention and time in the middle of a freaking carnival. I swore I tasted sugar and cinnamon when I’d kissed her through that god damned sheet.
And thinking about her lips now, my blood boiled. I hated how much space she took in my mind. Hated that when I closed my eyes, it was her soft curves and crazy hair that I saw. The drive home was quick, and I continued my frustrated spiral in the shower, jerking off to her furrowed brows and her rare smile. Fuck her for making me crazy. I’d decided to call it quits, she wasn’t worth the time and energy when I had other shit to focus on. But in the end, when I stepped out of the shower, feeling more riled up than relieved, I snatched the phone off the counter, hoping for a message from her.
Nothing.
Isaw her on Monday, slipping into the auditorium ten seconds before the start of class. She refused to look up, keeping her head bent. She refused to look anywhere other than her screen. And I couldn’t keep my eyes off of her.
When the professor was done droning on, we were given the last half hour to swap essays and work on critiques. Karina switched seats with Aaron and grabbed my arm. “Hey, I wanted to talk to you about—” She eyed Eliza, who looked content just to sit and ignore the surrounding people.
“About?” I asked, finally tearing my eyes away from the girl in the green coat and signature boots.
“Eliza,” Karina made a show of taking a deep breath and letting it out. “Look, there are things you need to know about her.”
“Like?” I wasn’t in the mood. The bitterness came back, that feeling of being stood up. I wanted to know why, and I should have had qualms about gossip coming from Karina, but I hoped maybe I could glean some answers from the enigma across the room.
“She got in trouble. Big trouble. She has a record.”
That surprised me. “How do you know?”
“I was there. When she was arrested.”
“Why am I just now finding this out? When did it happen?”
“She was a junior, I was a senior, and it was your freshman year here. It happened at a party. I was there, but we weren’t together then.”
I’m glad she could remember our time together versus not. It was a blur to me.
“There was a party, at the Miller house, before prom. I can’t believe you refused to take me to my senior prom.” She lightly punched my arm.
I rolled my eyes. “Go on.”
“It was after the dance and we went back to the Miller house, his parents were gone. It got to be pretty big, but it was fun. But then someone found Eliza and Donnie outside by the woodshed. She was beating him up. She had her stiletto buried in his hand. He was a bloody mess. I called the cops, and they arrested her. She said Donnie tried to assault her and it was self-defense. They were both drunk and there were no witnesses.” She looked back at Eliza. “She’s been on probation ever since. She was a minor so I think they were lenient.”
“What about Donnie?” I asked. I knew about him. Our circles didn’t mix too much. He was Karina’s cousin, but he was always an oaf and I’d always avoided him. But the accusations didn’t necessarily surprise me.
“What about him?” she asked
“What happened? Did he get charged with anything?”
She looked at me, wide-eyed. “He was the victim. He had to get stitches. She nearly kicked his face in, using a piece of wood from the woodpile to nearly knock him out.”
“But didn’t he attack her?”
Karina pursed her lips. “All I know is when they found them, she was the one beating him up. You know he’s my cousin, right? I know him, he wouldn’t do that.”
“Why did you tell me this?” I asked. The gleam in her eyes looked too conspiratorial for my liking.