Snot on my face and dried tears on my cheeks is the look du jour. Why didn’t I say something? Where was my brain when Hayden was asking me all these questions? And why did he just walk out? Why didn’t he let me explain? I want to call my sister, but she’s probably asleep after traveling back home. Plus, this sniveling mess is the last thing she needs to see when she’s just left here.
If only Hayden came back. Or called. If only he’d tell me everything will be okay. But he’s been quiet. No contact from him since yesterday. And with each passing minute, the hope I’m harboring in my chest that we can fix everything dissolves.
I should have told him I loved him when I had the chance. Should have told him about the baby. Now I’m back to square one. Alone and considering moving back to England. Except, Hayden’s swift exit made me realize I don’t want to go anywhere without him. I want this family I dreamed up in the last twenty-four hours. I want him by my side. But most of all, I want him in our baby’s life. Even if he thinks it’s too soon. It wasn’t exactly my plan either. I wanted to get to know him. Date him. But tough luck, I’m pregnant now. And Hayden? He deserves to be the father he’s never had. He deserves to right the wrongs of his life. I cannot keep him from doing that. I care too much for him to just get up and leave the country.
He’d never forgive me. I’d never forgive myself.
I barely eat or drink all day, waiting for him to call or knock on the door. But he doesn’t. I debate calling him and telling him about the doctor’s appointment tomorrow, but I choose to give him one more night to cool off. I’ll call him in the morning.
And if he doesn’t pick up? I sniffle and curl up on my bed.
Well, if he doesn’t pick up, I’ll have to think of something. A grand gesture.
Something that will show him exactly how I feel.
Because he’s been doing that every single day since the night we met. Every word, every action, was his way of telling me that he loves me without using those exact words. I’ve seen it in his eyes. It’s the thing that scared me the most.
But it was also in the way he hugged me. The way he listened to me whenever I spoke. The way he made sure I was looked after. The way he’d surprise me with the most thoughtful things. A blanket, a glass of water, that damned couch for my office space.
I needed to get him back. I needed him to see that even though I’d been denying him anything but friendship up until the last few days, I was all in. I was team Hayden Frost, and I wasn’t going to switch sides.
Tomorrow. I will find him tomorrow and tell him how incredibly stupid I have been.
ChapterEighteen
A loud knock startles me awake.Did I dream it up?I lay motionless, listening in the silence. Then it’s there again. Loud and clear. Someone is knocking at the door.
My clock is showing eight in the morning and I groan, pushing the comforter off me and swinging my legs down onto the cold floor.
I’m tired and grumpy, but my heart skips a beat as I walk through my apartment, hoping to see a dark-haired man with an enticing half-smile on the other side.
“Hay—” the words die in my mouth as I swing the door open. “Fitzy… Is everything okay?”
My eyes zero in on the martini glass in her hand.
“Oh,” she giggles. “The party from last night is still going, and it was a wild one.” She winks at me, lifting the glass up to her mouth and taking a sip. Stifling a yawn, I take in her appearance. How does she do it? She looks like she’s only just finished getting ready and hasn’t been up, drinking martinis since last night. Her makeup and sparkly dress are immaculate. Not a curl on her head is out of place. If I’m at a party for longer than an hour, I’m basically unrecognizable. Sweat patches, make-up running—I’m a vision.
“Sounds fun.”
“Oh, it is. Listen, I hate to bother you, but I need a huge favor.”
“At eight in the morning?”
“I’m so sorry, darling. I just… Marge needs her morning medication, and we’ve all been drinking, including my driver, so—”
“Sure,” I yawn. Fitzy has done enough for me over the last few years that I’d feel like a right asshole saying ‘no’ to her when she needs my help. She’s always been there for me and let’s not forget that she practically charges me nothing for my apartment, which I know for a fact should cost me a fortune. All she asked for was a steady supply of baked goods, which I’m more than happy to provide. “Let me just put on some clothes on and I’ll go get them.”
She winces. “Have a shower first, darling. Brush your teeth, maybe wash your hair. A lick of makeup wouldn’t hurt, either. And wear a nice dress.” She waves her martini glass up and down my body, sloshing the liquid inside.
I raise my eyebrow. “Okaaay. I thought you needed the medication quickly.”
“It can wait a little bit. A lady should always look good enough to eat if you know what I mean. You know, in case she’s going to meet the love of her life.” She winks.
I smile, indulging her. I don’t need to dress up in case I meet the love of my life. I’ve already met him. Delivering a batch of dick cookies to the wrong party. “Sure.”
Fitzy leaves me with a downtown address and detailed instructions on how to get there like I don’t have a GPS on my phone. The place is not far, maybe twenty minutes away.
Showered, hair washed and up in a high ponytail, I put on some lip gloss and head out to my car. Wearing a pair of jeans and a top with ‘I like my candy sweet and my books spicy’ slogan on it. I know it’s not what Fitzy had in mind, but it’s the best I can get myself to do while my heart is broken. Broken because I have still not heard from Hayden.