By noon, Larissa had picked up sandwiches from my favorite Italian deli, but I couldn’t touch my food even though I was hungry. My sandwich still sat in the center of the table, its waxy paper wrapper intact.
“Amelia, you need to eat,” Larissa said gently when she and Melinda were all done with their sandwiches.
“We know you’re worried, and scared, and in shock. But you still have to take care of yourself,” Melinda said.
I shook my head, my eyes welling up again. After last night, I thought I was all cried out.
I was wrong.
“You don’t understand,” I mumbled, using my fingers to catch the tears gathering.
Larissa sighed, sipping a green juice. “No, you’re right. We can’t fully understand, at least not the part about being pregnant, because neither of us has been through it. But we do understand that you’re scared, and we’re your sisters. We love you, Amelia. You have options, here.”
“And a big family that cares about you. No matter what you decide, we’ll all be here every step of the way,” Melinda added.
I shook my head. “Notallof you. Not Mom and Dad. They won’t help me, not now that I’ve screwed up so badly.”
Larissa scoffed. Melinda sighed.
“That’s crazy talk, Amelia,” Larissa said. “Dad would do anything for you.”
“Of course they’ll help you,” Melinda reassured. “They love you so much.”
I wiped my tears and stopped my sniffles. I knew my parents loved me, but I wasn’t convinced everything would somehow be OK. The reality of my situation couldn’t be further from that.
“It’s OK to feel frightened,” Larissa said. “But we’re here for you. Sure, Dad might need some time to wrap his head around the fact that his youngest child is pregnant at twenty-one, but he’ll come around.”
“I bet he’ll be so excited for a grandbaby,” Melinda added, smiling.
She had no idea how much more complicated the situation was beyond me being pregnant. I looked away, ruminating on the idea of my father becoming a grandfather to his best friend’s baby. What would people think? I imagined my father would feel so ashamed, so angry with me, and shuddered at the thought of him finding out.
Larissa took a deep breath. “Who knows, maybe news like this is just the thing Mom and Dad need right now. They’ve been at each other’s throats lately. This could bring them together and help them feel closer.”
My eyes filled with tears again. “You really don’t understand, do you? The baby isn’t the problem,” I said, close to sobbing now. “The problem is the baby’s father.”
Both my sisters’ brows creased in concern.
“Amelia, who is this guy?” Larissa asked.
Melinda shook her head. “What does that even mean?”
“It’s time to tell us,” Larissa said in a gentle tone.
“Larissa is right,” Melinda agreed. “If you’re this distraught over who the father is, but you won’t share that with us, how can we help you through this?”
They were both right. I had kept it from them for too long, anyway. It was killing me hiding the truth from my sisters. I had always been honest with them in the past, and I couldn’t keep hanging on to this secret.
Not now, when so much was at stake.
“You have to promise me something. Both of you,” I said through sniffles. They exchanged a look, then turned back to me and nodded. “If I tell you who it is, you have to swear that you will not tell a single soul about this.”
Melinda kept her hand on my shoulder. “Fine. I won’t tell.”
“Neither of us will. You have our word,” Larissa nodded.
I took a deep breath and braced myself. “The father is Nathaniel Dean.”
Their eyes went wide, and they were silent for a few moments. My heart thumped and my mind raced as I waited for them to respond. What would they think of me? Had they ever suspected it could be him? Would they understand now why I couldn’t tell our parents?