I fling myself backward to lie down on my bed and pull the duvet up over my head, silently screaming beneath it. I already know that this is going to be bad. Every single sense in my body is on high alert and I feel like I’m going to be sick already.
It’s going to be fun trying to hide this from everyone in the house this morning until I leave, because I already know that even if I try to hide out in here, Sawyer will try to join me. As much as I enjoy living with them—which definitely still shocks me on a daily basis—I definitely miss having some alone time. Normally, I’d go hide out in the library, but after everything at Thanksgiving, I haven’t dared go back in case it jogs someone's memory of something they might have seen.
A shudder runs down my spine even thinking about it.
Nope. Not today. I’ve got enough emotional turmoil to fill the Grand Canyon from dealing with my mom, I am not adding the Professor Crawford thing to it. So I stuff that back down in its tightly locked-away box, and walk the hell away. I might not be able to stuff my mom in a box, but this I can.
Is it going to bite me in the ass eventually? Oh, I am a thousand percent sure it will, but that is future me’s problem.
Right-now me has enough other shit to deal with.
My phone buzzes beside me on the bed again, but this time I ignore it. I've got enough stuff to be dealing with today without seeing another message from my mom or requests from anybody else.
So I bury myself beneath my pillows and stay under the duvet for as long as I think I can get away with.
It's only when a knock sounds at my door and Sawyer’s voice filters through as he calls out good morning to me that I know I don't have much more time left to hide in my pit of despair.
"I’m just going to jump in the shower," I call out to him, hoping that gives me at least another half hour before he decides to bounce into my room.
Ever since everything that happened over Thanksgiving, they've all been watching me like a hawk. Not that I blame them, but I'm not exactly a flight risk at this point. Like, where exactly is it that they think I'm going to go?
I don't have anyone to turn to or anywhere else to go. I let out a deep sigh and climb out of my bed, heading into the shower. I try to wash away that icky feeling that has been crawling over my skin since I agreed to see my mom, but it doesn't matter how hard I scrub or how hot I make the water, it doesn't go anywhere.
I should know better by now than to think I can get rid of it so easily.
I shut the water off and get ready for the day, wearing the most comfortable clothing I can find. I have a feeling that today I'm going to need all the comfort I can find, even if that is just from wearing leggings and a giant sweater with my beanie on my head.
I grab my phone from under the pillow and see my mom's name on the screen again, telling me that she's having lunch made for us, so come hungry.
Awesome.
I only have about half an hour until I’m supposed to meet her, so I rush downstairs calling out ‘good morning’ before grabbing the keys for the Batmobile from the hook. I call out to let them know that I'm heading out, and dash out of the door before anybody can ask any questions or try to come with me.
How I make it out of the driveway without one of them in my car is beyond me, but that doesn't mean I don't see Sawyer standing in the doorway as I pull away, his hands in the air calling out to me. Not that I can hear anything he's saying.
Guilt pools in my stomach at the thought of running away from them, but I'll answer their questions later.
Once I've dealt with my mom.
Right now, all of my energy is focused on whatever it is she has to tell me and keeping myself stable enough to deal with whatever chaos it is that she's about to bring into my life.
When I pull up to the McMansion, I head straight for the garage before making my way up to the informal sitting room where my mom told me she would be waiting for me.
She's in there with a tray of tea and a bunch of tiny sandwiches and cakes. As if she did afternoon tea before whatever it is that she wants to tell me.
Who exactly is it that she thinks we are?
"Hi, Mom," I call out as I move into the room, taking a seat opposite her, but she doesn't bother to stand or try to hug me because there's nobody else around and she knows better than that. "What's so important that you couldn't just tell me over the phone?" I ask, getting straight to the point because I don’t want to be here any longer than I absolutely have to.
"I need you to agree to marry the Beckett boy," she responds, no emotion on her face, her eyes dull and lifeless, despite the shiny exterior that she's put together.
This is the woman I know, not the bright and shiny one that she's been pretending to be every time I've seen her since I arrived in Serenity Falls. This is the mother I grew up with, the lifeless, emotionless robot. The one who doesn't actually care about me.
"I already told you, I'm not going to do that. If that's why you called me here, then this was a waste of both of our time."
I stand to leave, hating how much time I've wasted on coming here when I could still be in bed, because this is the drivel that she wanted to go through.
"I’m not really pregnant, Briar," she says as I head to the door. "You need to marry the Beckett boy so that we are set for life. Because once Chase finds out the truth, he is going to divorce me, and that puts us right back into the position we were in before."