We’ll just have to deal with tomorrow when it happens. For now, this is enough.
CHAPTER 6
JUDE
The drive from Club Sin today is quiet and filled with tension. The moment we step into Coyle and Killian’s house, I want to punch something. Actually, I want to destroy everything in my path like a fucking tornado.
“She left,” the broken words are surprising coming from me, but it’s hard not to feel shattered.
I was there last night. I felt the way she glowed under our words and the way she held tight to everything we made her feel. I thought she knew, I thought she understood.
Have I just been fooling myself from the beginning?
“She did,” Coyle doesn’t sound the least bit surprised, and it pisses me right the fuck off.
I turn around, wanting to accuse someone if I can’t destroy something. I glare at Coyle and take a step closer to him. “Why don’t you sound like you care at all?”
Coyle narrows his eyes at me, but what he doesn’t do is give me the satisfaction I crave by coming at me. He flops back on the couch, his head resting against the back of it. The only thing I can find some sick humor with is the way his fists are balled up at his sides.
I’m used to getting what I want by either charm or pushing people until they give in and do my bidding. I’ve changed so much about my usual means to an end from the moment I saw Edison. I don’t normally go at things sideways, but she changed something fundamental in me. I thought I liked it, but now I’m not so fucking sure.
I whirl around on Killian who is carrying in three cups of coffee from the kitchen. “What did you say to her before you brought her up?”
Killian arches an eyebrow at me as if to challenge me, but at the same time I see understanding in his eyes. He knows why I’m lashing out and fuck, I know why too. I know I shouldn’t.
Before Killian can say anything, Coyle speaks without lifting his head. “She was always going to run.” He tilts his head up in the silence that responds to him and looks at me. “You should know, you call her ‘little mouse’ and it’s fitting.”
“That’s not why I call her that,” I defend.
Coyle grins, a faraway thing as if he’s thinking about Edison; he probably is. “I know. Probably because her adorable as fuck twin buns.” I nod and he sighs before he leans forward and grabs the mug off the coffee table in front of me. “It’s still accurate. Last night was a lot, for all of us, but especially her.”
“We should have talked more,” I seethe.
“We should have,” Killian admits in a voice that sounds a lot like a little boy who is simply taking the scolding he’s being given.
When I look at him, his eyes are down, and I feel like complete shit. I move deeper into the living room, no longer standing at the threshold like I’m not just as much a part of this fucked up setback as everyone else. I am. I know it.
“We should have and I’m just as much to blame.” I scrub a hand down my face. “I’m not used to things not going my way. If something isn’t the way I want it, then I use everything at my disposal to change it.”
Coyle challenges me, “You don’t think we can do the same now?”
I throw myself into a chair and let myself look around their house. I was a little focused last night on Killian and whatever plan he had for us to get our girl. It’s a nice place, but something inside of me is screaming that this isn’t our home. Not the one we’re going to bring Edison home to.
“I don’t know,” I tell him honestly.
Killian looks wrecked, even more than I feel. I don’t like it. Just like I don’t like that my little mouse ran. Maybe Coyle is right, I should have seen it coming.
We didn’t promise anything more than last night. Should we have? Would that have been worse? Would she not even have let us have her last night if she knew that we wanted forever with her?
“Are all on the same page with this?” I voice the question to the room because I need to know.
Killian’s head snaps up and he looks at me like I’ve grown another fucking head. I don’t blame him. I would be looking at me like that as well, but I need to know.
“I’m in,” Coyle’s voice is a rumble and I meet his eyes to see him staring at me intently. “Are you backing out now? You had a taste and you’re satisfied?”
I bristle at his words and my eyes narrow. “That’s not why I’m asking. I’m asking because if we aren’t on the same page then we need to figure that shit out now and not later. I won’t allow Edison to be sucker punched down the road. She deserves better than that.”
Coyle smirks at me, something like pride lining his face, and relief floods me. “Just fucking with you, Jude. I know why you asked, but I wanted to make sure you did.”