She shook her head and accepted a glass of wine. “Wine? That’s not usual outside the palace, surely?”
“Not in traditional gatherings, but you know that our country is a mixture of the west and east. We manage it by using our discretion.”
“And I guess there’s nowhere quite as discrete as being in a cave while the desert wind whips up the sand all around us, making it impossible for us to exit, or for others to enter.”
“Exactly.” He took another sip and let out a long sigh, his eyes grazing over her. “Now, where were we?”
She shook her head. She didn’t want to remind him, but by the look on his face, he didn’t need reminding.
“You know I thought it would be different, kissing you. But it wasn’t. It was as if the intervening time had evaporated—disappeared—and it was only yesterday that we were together.”
Shehadto resist. This whole set up had been to seduce her, but she didn’t want that, did she? “Maybe, but that’s irrelevant.”
He smiled, and her eyes slid to his lips as inappropriate thoughts blasted into her mind.
A silence descended as he looked thoughtful. “Tell me, Gabrielle. What is it you want?”
She nearly choked on her sip of wine. “You ask me what I want? I thought this was all about whatyouwanted.”
“I repeat, what is it you want?”
“I want to be… free,” she said simply, from between dry lips, the words wrenched from her.
“Free of what?”
She looked up and caught his gaze. “Free of feeling things I don’t want to feel.”
He sat forward, his face more intense if anything. “There, you see, we both want the same things. The only difference between you and me is that I want to free myself of this obsession by indulging it.”
She shook her head instinctively. “No, that’s not the way. Only by absence, by depriving ourselves of what we had, can we recover.”
“Recover,” he grunted. “You make it sound like a disease.”
“I think it is. It’s certainly the opposite of ease.”
He nodded. “And how do you treat a disease? With a small amount of it, until the body moderates its response.”
She opened her mouth to speak but was unable to contradict him. It was science. And it was science that she believed in, wasn’t it?
“You think a little more passion will ease the need?” she asked tentatively.
“I’m counting on it.”
“It’s been the same for you, too, then?”
“It gets worse over time, my need for you.”
“And you don’t want it,” she ventured.
“No.” It was a brief answer, but it was all she needed.
She closed her eyes and nodded. She turned away, not wanting to witness the raw need in his eyes, which reflected her own. She jumped up and rubbed her arms. He followed her.
“Are you cold?”
She shook her head, not trusting her voice.
“Then what is the matter?”