He pressed his forehead to mine and sucked in a deep breath. “I promise, I want you, Rogue, but I’m going to find the perfect way to make you see that. I want you to trust that I’m in this for life, because, fuck, I love you so much.”
“I love you too. Now sleep, so you’ve got the energy to get all bossy with me again.”
“Pancakes, sir.”
“Wow, they aren’t burned.”
“I had a good teacher. I was going to make eggs.”
“Okay. We can work up to eggs, Rogue.”
“I was going to make eggs, so I could ask you how you liked them and then tell you I like mine fertilized.”
Matt groaned. “Thank God you’re stunning and can play the drums. Comedy would have been an epic fail for you.”
“Cheeky. I’m hilarious. But I was trying to tell you that I binned my pill this morning. I’m no longer on birth control. So, if you’ve changed your mind, now is the time to say.”
“I thought you needed me to prove I was in this for life.”
“I don’t need you toproveanything. I just need you to know that I can’t have you run again. And I believe you won’t. Plus, it might take a while to get pregnant. My body has been through a lot over the last few months. Who knows the lasting damage Rylee did.”
Matt wrapped his arms around my waist and pressed a kiss to my temple. “But whatever happens, I’m here with you,” he promised.
“And that’s all I need to know. Now eat your pancakes and then let’s go try to fertilize my eggs.” Matt laughed, pushing a forkful of pancakes into his mouth as I shimmed out of my Harry Potter pajama bottoms, and sat up on the counter, opening my legs as he stared at me like he was about to devour me.
We quickly realized that Matt was not up for fucking me standing up in the kitchen. We moved to the sofa where I straddled his lap and rode him until we both came, and he fell asleep while I laid on top of him watching a movie. After an hour or so, the sun disappeared behind the gray clouds that had filled the sky and I got cold. Slipping off him, I lit a fire, suddenly feeling the urge to write a song. A feeling I’d not had in a while.
I laid out in front of the fire, wrapped in a blanket, and I wrote, the words and melodies dancing through my head. I didn’t hear Matt wake or get up until he sat on the floor in front of me wearing only his shorts.
“Hey, beautiful. Sorry, I fell asleepagain.”
“Maybe we should have the night off sex and have an early night.”
“Bored of me already, Rogue?”
“Never.”
“Are you writing again? I love that.”
“I am. It feels good.”
“Maybe one day you can write a song about a grumpy bear and how much he needs to sleep.”
I sat up, laughing loudly, noticing how confused Matt looked. “You are joking, right?” I questioned.
“About writing a song about me? Of course I am. I’m sure you have much better things to write about.”
I waited for a laugh or a smile, but there was nothing.He’s being serious.
“Have you ever listened to the words of the songs I write, Matt Howells?”
“God, my full name… am I in trouble? Of course I have listened to them. I watch you on stage all the time.”
“Okay, well, that’s our old stuff, but the songs we played the night I got shot and the new album. Have you listened to them?”
“Well… there was a lot going on. I was hunting for a stalker, my girlfriend got shot, then there was my near death experience. I’ve not listened to the new album, and I can’t remember hearing your new stuff the night you were shot. God, that makes me sound like a crap husband to be.”
I rolled my eyes. “It’s fine, but I want you to listen. I’m going to go take a bath. Here, take my phone and let me set up the songs I want you to hear.” I fiddled around on my phone, saving some of the songs from our new album to a playlist and handing him my phone. I suddenly felt nervous. “Come find me once you’re done. I’d love to know what you think.”