Those days were the best and most freeing of my life. I’ve never felt more myself than when I was alone with Fernando. He gave me things I never knew I needed. I didn’t have to be quiet and meek. I could say and do what I wanted without fear of being judged or of there being consequences. It’s been so ingrained in me to be a certain way, but Fernando is showing me that I can be any way I want. It only makes me love this man even more.
With each mile we draw closer to the city, I sense a shift in Fernando. I can tell he’s going from Fernando to the Butcher. It’s not that I fear the Butcher, it’s that I fear what wrath he might dish out.
I bet if I asked him to turn the car around and drive us the other way, he would. He’d pick me over everything else. Knowing he’d do that for me gives him every bit of loyalty that I have inside me. I’ll do anything for this man because I know he’d do the same for me without hesitation. I honestly had no clue there were men like him in this world.
But Fernando isn’t going to suggest we turn the car around and go make our own lives somewhere else. He knows it would kill me if something happened to my sister. Even her husband and Carina are growing on me. When I think of us all, I can see a world so different than the one Angelica and I always thought we’d have to endure.
It’s not only me that would be losing the ones they love if we ran. Fernando would also be giving up his family. I honestly don’t think he understands the depth of love he has for Antonio and Gilly. They’re basically his brothers.
I think he confuses some of his loyalty with love. You’ll never convince me that the Butcher has done some crazy, terrible things for Antonio just because he enjoys doing them.
I might have thought that two weeks ago, but not now that I know Fernando. The way he touches and loves me. That man is dangerous only to those who could do harm to the people he cares about. He might think he’s doing a job for loyalty. He can title it whatever he wants in his mind, but it’s love. It would kill him if something happened to them because we took the selfish route, especially when the reality is they brought us together in a way.
“Sweetness.” He reaches over, putting his hand over mine. Just that little touch by him helps to settle my nerves.
“This is the right choice,” I reassure him. I want him to know I’m with him every step of the way. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for this man.
I bet his mind is running through all sorts of scenarios, the same as mine is. I’m sure his are far bloodier than mine, but I have no doubt he’s going over all kinds of possibilities and outcomes. There is no way the Butcher has lived as long as he has without being steps ahead of everyone else.
He might not be the leader of the Palermo family, but it’s clear to me there is way more to this man than just torturing information out of people and brute force. You’d need a lot more than that to stay alive. He’s cunning.
“You’re scared.”
I smile over at him. “You’re so good at reading me. Sometimes I think we’re an old married couple with how attuned we are to one another.”
“But I don’t know what you’re scared of.”
“Honestly, I’m having an inner battle. Part of me doesn’t want anyone to get hurt because of me and the choice I made to pick you.”
“I kidnapped you,” Fernando points out.
I roll my eyes. I still picked him. I don’t care what he says.
“Another part of me wants them to know what it means to come for Angelica and me. For them to see what true loyalty is. They hurt women and treat us with no regard. I want them to hurt.” I pull one of my hands out from under his to set it on top. “Does that change how you see me? I know you’re the Butcher, but I’m the light to your darkness, but I just….” I trail off, not sure how to explain myself.
“It’s our souls, Bianca.” I know when he says my real name he’s being serious. “They’re coming together.”
A giant smile pulls at my lips so big it almost hurts. “The Butcher, such a romantic.” I laugh. It dies away as I squeeze his fingers. “Are you scared?”
“Yes,” he says without hesitation. “I’m a ruthless man. I was before I had nothing to lose; now I’m not sure what I’m going to be. There is nothing I wouldn’t do to protect you.”