Oh, don’t get me wrong: I think Fernando wants to keep me. But I don’t think he wants to control me. In fact, as terrible as it is to think, I’m pretty sure the Butcher might actually be under my thumb.
What a strange concept. It’s not that I want him there. I don’t want to control him, but the fear that always lingers around me is gone. Odd considering I’m in bed with a man most would consider depraved and deadly. That’s the thing, though: He’s not that way with me. Fear is the last thing I feel when he’s around. But I will admit, I pity anyone that would try to come in here and cause either of us harm. That’s the only time I think I wouldn’t be able to pull Fernando back.
While he might be sweet with me, I know the Butcher is still there lingering under the surface. Waiting for someone to step out of line. It’s part of him, and I know if I truly want to have a relationship with Fernando then I’ll have to accept the Butcher too. I’m just not sure how to do that or to show him that I could possibly do that.
I trail my finger down his chest. He tenses under my touch for a second before he relaxes. It doesn’t go unnoticed by me that small scars linger in different places. I’m pretty sure there is a bullet hole in his shoulder. The man really is a warrior.
“Bianca.” He sighs my name.
I slip on top of him. He doesn’t stop me as I trail kisses down his chest and lower. His eyes open, watching me as I continue. I might have been a tad drunk last night, but I knew what I was asking for. Today is a new day, and there is no reason for him to tell me no. In fact, I don’t think it’s a word Fernando would use often with me. He told me he’d never lie to me again, and last night he told me he’d let me be or do whatever I wanted as long as it didn’t put me in harm's way.
“You don’t like to be touched, do you?”
He’s not used to it, but I plan to rectify that.
“I love being touched by you.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. Your touch is soft and sweet. There is no agenda behind it.”
Now that piques my curiosity. “What do you mean?”
“Is this something you really wish to talk about? Me with another woman?” My nails sink into his chest.
I quickly pull them back, not having meant to do it. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. I enjoy all your touches. Scratch away, sweetness.”
“Fine, tell me,” I blurt out. “I want to know everyone on the list. You see, I know this man with a very deadly set of skills, and I could have them all taken out.” I try to make light of it even while the jealousy is eating me alive.
“There is no list, sweetness, nor do I think you’d create one. It’s not in your nature.”
“I might,” I huff. I’m finding I’m rather possessive of Fernando. I didn’t get to have a lot of things in my life to be mine alone.
“The women who have hit on me, as you might call it, do so because they want something rough. They think I can give it to them. It’s not about wanting me. It’s about them wanting what they think I’ll do to them.” A coldness lingers in his gaze.
“They’re wrong. I think if we had sex, you’d be sweet and loving.”
“With you I would be,” he agrees.
I cock my head to the side, even more confused. “But with others?”
“There are no others. I don’t want to give them what they want, nor do I want anyone touching me.”
I open and close my mouth as it really dawns on me what Fernando is saying to me. He really could be all mine. Only mine.
“So I can do what I want?” I start to kiss down lower, making it all the way to his boxer briefs. His hard cock is pressing against the material, wanting out.
“You can do whatever you want to me, sweetness.”
I grip his boxers and pull them down, causing his cock to spring free. I gasp at the sheer size of it, but that doesn’t stop me from wrapping my hand around its base. A small bead of cum leaks from the tip.
A guttural sound comes from Fernando, making me freeze. “Does it hurt?”
“Not in the way you think.”
“You need release?” I lick my lips. “You need me?”
“Always.” He groans as I wrap my mouth around the head of his cock, giving Fernando what he needs. This isn’t about a blowjob. It’s me showing him I want to touch him not only for me, but because I want to please and love him.