“I’m so sorry.” Horrified, tears immediately start filling my eyes. “I don’t want to lose you guys!” I half yell that last sentence and cover my face in embarrassment.
All four ladies converge, wrapping me in their arms and holding me tight. They whisper their encouragement and soothing words and I let myself be comforted by them.
“Let’s sit down,” Molly says and we follow her lead. “April made a kick-ass charcuterie board, and we brought drinks for everyone.”
“You guys are the best,” I say through my tears.
April nudges me as we sit side by side. Quinn is on the other side of me, and Jane and Molly take the two armchairs with the coffee table in the center of us all.
“Tell us what happened,” Jane encourages me softly.
“We know you and Archer broke up, but why?” April asks, leaning forward to grab an olive.
I sigh and sit back against the couch. As good as the food looks, I don’t have the energy to care about food right now. I know, I know. Something is horribly wrong with me.
I explain to them what was going on and how I was not feeling confident in our new relationship. Unlike the conversation with my mom and entire family, I give more details to my girlfriends. They pipe in at appropriate moments and I smile as April fans herself.
“I knew Archer would have great stamina.”
I mean… yeah.
“Well, given that it was his first time, I would say that he has some things to make up for.”
The room screeches to a halt, it’s quieter than a library in here and I realize what I just admitted. I smack myself in my head. “Shit.”
“Archer was a virgin?” April asks—or yells.
“Um…”
“Holy shit,” Jane says, and I give her a wide-eyed look. Jane saves cursing for special occasions.
“That’s amazing,” Quinn says, laughter spilling out of her, and I give her a crazy look.
“What’s amazing?” I ask.
Molly answers, though. “He freaking waited for you, girl. If that’s not love, then I don’t know what is.”
I pause and let the words sink in. I don’t know why but… that terrifies me. “What if…”
My paused sentence is met with bated breath, the girls give me a moment, but then April prompts. “What if, what?”
“What if… I’m not worth the hype?” My eyes tear up again and I sigh. “I’m so tired of crying.” This comes out as a kind of growl and I wipe at my eyes again.
“Girl.” Molly shakes her head, and Quinn picks up the sentence. “You are so freaking worth it, it’s not even funny.”
“Maybe you didn’t see Archer last week, but we did, and that guy was heartbroken. I mean, he tried to hide it, but we all saw it.”
“Yeah, I heard Enzo confronted him too,” Jane says. “Warren told me Enzo had a talk with him.”
“Oh great. Now I’m ruining friendships.”
“Oh stop.” April scoffs, and I look at her, raising a brow in question. “Listen.” She holds up a hand and scolds. “You are not ruining anything except for the potential for a freaking amazing relationship. Enzo and Archer are big boys, if Enzo can’t take it, that’s his problem. But I don’t think that’s the case. The only issue here is you’re letting fear guide you.”
Everyone in the room stares at April in surprise. Our normally goofy friend being the one to lay it out for us is a shock.
“Why is everyone looking at me?”
“That was just…” Quinn starts.