As soon as I step out of the truck, Holly comes running over to me, putting her arm around me and making me feel instantly better. The look I give the man who’d just been hitting on her has him ducking his head and getting his ass back to work. I load the tree into the truck bed before opening the door for Holly. Once we’re on the road, I can’t get the image of the two of them out of my head. I can’t let her go, I know that, but I don’t want her just pretending to be happy with me, or worse, secretly hating our marriage and planning her escape.
When we’re in our driveway, she turns to me, studying me in the soft light from the street. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I say, giving her a smile and forcing my morbid thoughts aside.
She looks like she’s about to say something, but stops and instead reaches back and starts grabbing bags while I get out to bring our tree in. I barely get the fucker through the door, but when we’ve got it set up in front of the large bay windows in the living room, I have to admit it looks good.
Holly surprises me grabbing onto my hand and pulling me over to the couch. She pushes on my chest, trying to get me to sit down, and when I raise a brow at her, she smiles and says, “Please sit.”
I do and then groan when she straddles me, wrapping her arms around my shoulders and keeping her face close to mine. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
“Nothing’s wrong.”
“Please don’t lie to me, Sasha. I can tell your mood changed. What happened?”
“It’s stupid,” I finally say, knowing that probably won’t be enough to get me off the hook. It isn’t.
“Please tell me,” she says again. “Our marriage is going to have enough secrets because of your work, I don’t want any more than there has to be.”
I rest my hands on her hips, already feeling myself grow hard. “I saw that guy standing close to you, and I didn’t like it.”
“I knew you wouldn’t. That’s partly why I scooted further away.”
“And the other part?”
She smiles and brings one hand to my cheek. “Because I didn’t want to be close to him. I only want to be close to you.”
“But why? Is it because you’re forced to be?” I shake my head and run my fingers along the smooth skin of her waist while I think of what to say. “I can’t let you go, Holly. You know I can’t, but I don’t want you to be with me just because you’re forced to be. I’m thirteen years older than you. I’m not so sure you would’ve ever chosen to be with me on your own. The decision was made for you, and now you’re stuck.”
Her eyes soften, and she looks at me like I’m a very dense man who’s just not getting it at all. There’s no denying that’s exactly how I feel.
“Yeah, we were thrown together and forced to marry, and I know it sounds crazy, but I don’t regret it. I’m happy with you, happy for the first time in a really long time. I don’t care that you’re older.” She laughs and says, “I actually think it’s pretty sexy.”
Her fingers lightly run over my forehead, reminding me that my face is tense with worry and fear. When she rocks her hips, I let out a groan and grip her tighter.
“I know myself well enough to know that I couldn’t give my body to someone that I didn’t love.” She cups my face and kisses me gently. “And I very much want you to take me to bed, Sasha.”
“I don’t deserve you,” I manage to say. “I shouldn’t even be allowed to touch you.”
“Well, I’m hoping you’ll do a whole lot more than that. I love you, Sasha,” she says, tearing me wide open with those four words, “and I want you to be my first. I want you to be myonly.”
“My sweetlisichka,” I groan, pressing my mouth to hers as I stand and carry her upstairs.
Chapter9
Holly
Aleksandr carries me up the stairs like a man possessed. His mouth never leaves mine. It’s a hungry clash of lips and tongue that has me rocking my hips and desperately cupping the back of his head in an attempt to get him closer. I’ve never felt the ache in my pussy so strongly. It’s a primal need to be filled, and I feel like I’m going to lose my damn mind if he doesn’t get inside me right this second.
“Please, Sasha,” I beg, when he lays me down on the bed.
“What have you done to me,lisichka?” he murmurs against my lips, sliding his hands down to pull my shirt off before making quick work of my bra. His fingers run over my stomach and chest, wanting to touch all of me at once. “You’re all I can fucking think about.”
I fist his sweater and pull it over his head, sighing when his upper body is bare except for the gun and knife he has strapped to him. The man never goes anywhere without at least one weapon on him. He makes quick work of the holster, setting the weapons carefully aside before hovering his body back over mine. His chiseled, tattooed chest is an absolute work of art. I run my fingers over him, greedy for the feel of his skin against mine. I lift my head up and run my tongue over his pec, loving the deep groan he gives at my touch. He runs a hand through my hair, fisting it and pulling me back so he can see my face.
“I’ve never loved anyone. I started believing that I wasn’t even capable of it, but you’ve changed everything.”
The pain in his green eyes breaks my heart, and my only regret about any of this is that I didn’t meet him sooner. I hate knowing that he was lonely and in pain and that I wasn’t there to take it from him. He traces a finger down my cheek, and I watch the pain in his eyes morph into so much love that I feel my own eyes start to water.