‘I understand. That’s not such a bad thing. London isn’t on the other side of the world. We can still make it work.’
‘No, Jack, there is no us. I need to focus. I need to be me again. I don’t know who I am with you. You sell me dreams, and I need reality.’ Turning, she ran back up the beach towards the bakery. It was all so clear now. She’d been caught up in this silly daydream, but it wasn’t the way she was made, she wasn’t brave enough. It wasn’t her. And Jack, how did she even feel about him? Were her feelings about him just a distortion too? She’d coped all these years on her own. Maybe she was just better that way.
Chapter Twenty Five
She watched as theLED numbers flicked from 05:59 to 06:00 and flung the duvet off. She wiped her eyes dry with the bottom of her pyjama top. Padding quietly through to the bathroom, she splashed cold water over her face. She should have just got up and left earlier, gone straight away after she’d spoken to Jack.
She hadn’t wanted to, though. Melissa was right. She needed to go back to the office, grovel to Steven and try to keep hold of her job. But something was still pulling her to the bay. And Jack.
She patted her face dry on one of Elsie’s fluffy white towels. Yes, Jack had made her believe she was someone she wasn’t, but was that such a bad thing? Yes, he’d encouraged her to leave her job, but it had only been because he had believed in her. It hadn’t been his fault she didn’t have the strength, the know-how to live up to his expectations. He’d had faith in her and she’d thrown it right back in his face.
Tiptoeing back into the bedroom, she closed the door quietly and sank onto the bed. Picking up her phone, she scrolled through to his messages and began reading them through. She’d been too harsh on him. He’d been prepared to travel, to have a long-distance relationship with her.
Firmly placing her mobile face-down on the bed, she shook her head. She needed to go back to London, back to her reality. This was just a holiday. Moving down here was just a pipedream and by believing in that pipedream, she may well lose everything she’d worked for in real life.
She couldn’t be sentimental about Jack. She couldn’t let him or the way she thought she felt about him to sway her, not again. She didn’t have time to process it. Not at the moment. She just needed to travel back home.
Heading back to her room, she changed and shoved her belongings back into her holdall. Pulling her notebook back out, she scribbled a quick message to Elsie, explaining that she’d had to go back, wishing her a wonderful day.
Forcing herself to walk away, to walk out of the bakery, she threw her holdall onto the backseat of her car. She felt awful for letting Elsie down, for leaving like this, but it was for the best. She didn’t have a choice.
––––––––
SLOWING THE CAR TOa stop at the junction leading out of Penworth Bay, she looked in the rear-view mirror and sobbed. She’d been so close. So close to changing her life, so close to finding happiness with Jack, so close to being part of Elsie’s found family.
With her hands gripping the steering wheel, she drove off. Away from the bay, away from her chance of a new life and, most importantly, away from the man who had begun to change her mind about love.
The piercing ringtone from her mobile rang through the car’s speaker system. It was Melissa. ‘Hello?’
‘Evie. Have you decided what you’re doing yet? I’ve got Steven all worked up.’ Melissa’s voice was curt. She was under pressure.
‘Yes, I’m...’ The car hit a pothole, the car veering off towards the grass verge. Pulling the steering wheel back, Evie steadied the car.
‘You’re what?’
‘I’ve just hit a pothole. Hold on.’