“It’s gin. I know I watched them pour vodka,” she says with disgust. Zara stands and marches inside to get a new drink. We laugh as she leaves us, calling out our own drink orders.
“She’s hellbent on this,” Cat says, watching her walk away. “I think she might be falling in love with him. After Tiffany left, she came to talk to me in my room. I think she’s lonely.”
I look up, trying to see Zara in another light—not like she’s my competition for Essos’s heart, but like I should have all along. She’s another woman thrown into a scary, unfamiliar situation and given an impossible choice—try to become queen of this realm or move on to the unknown.
“May the best woman win,” I say lifting my water in Zara’s direction.
“I think you intimidated her today with your crushing win,” Cat comments.
I raise an eyebrow at her. “It was hardly a win, if you think about it. Both those men are dead, and one caused the death of the other. It's only fair that there’s some sort of punishment.”
“Yeah, but you came at it like you had all the answers. Zara felt intimidated. She thought she knew what Essos was looking for, and that was to come down hard on the bad guy.” Cat pauses. “I would really rather not talk about this.” She seems desperate for a change in subject.
“You and Finn looked cozy,” I say, having wanted to chat with her about it anyway.
“Finn kept me company while you were gone. It was nice having someone else to talk to.”
Zara returns then with a small tray of drinks—a martini for her and margaritas for us. “Finn is a hot toddy on a cold day,” she says as she sits down.
I can’t help but nod in agreement, buther comment about Galen is still nagging at me.
“What would make you say that about me and Galen?” If Zara’s noticed, there is no way that Essos hasn’t, and yet he hasn’t interfered. Questions swirl in my brain, and I’m almost disappointed to come to that realization. Is it because he knows I was once Galen’s wife, and as much as having me in the Calling is complicated, maybe he doesn’t want to stop that reunion? But then, there’s how drawn I am to Essos—that chemistry isn’t make-believe; it’s very real. I down my drink in one gulp.
“Gosh, what could give me that impression? Every dance we have, he’s always there, always watching you. It’s like that creepy song from the 80s that everyone pretends is super romantic but actually normalizes stalking. But you seem to seek him out too, which…he’s pretty and all, but he’s like cubic zirconia, lacking any real substance.”
“Drop the mic,” Cat mutters into her own drink.
“Wow, okay.” I pause, not sure how to move this away from the very awkward conversation it’s become. “I’m sorry if I’ve been sort of a bitch since coming here,” I say to Zara, trying to extend an olive branch. Regardless of how I feel about her, I know this has been a hard process, and we’re stuck in it together.
“You’ve always been sort of a bitch.” Zara huffs, pulling up her sunglasses. I want to shove them down her throat, but she continues. “To be fair, so have I. I’m not going to give up, though, just because you’re in this weird relationship with two brothers. If you’re into Galen, it’s not fair to Essos or to the rest of us who want to be with him that you stay.”
It's the closest I think she’ll come to an apology. She’s not wrong, though, the way I’m torn between the two brothers. It’s exhausting, the emotional tug of war I feel when I’m around both of them. I feel an obligation to Galen based on what he’s told me, what I’ve seen. But those memories sometimes don’t feel real—it’s like watching a movie; they happened to some other woman, not me. With Essos… Gods, with Essos, sometimes I look at him and I think my heart stops with longing. He’s tied, bound to rules established by the Council, and I agreed to be here for him, though I decided that before I knew about Galen. Each thought sends me teetering like a seesaw on the end of the world.
We chat about the escorts and how excited we are to be getting closer to the end. As Zara and Cat chatter, I zone out, thinking about Essos. I wonder what case he’s showing the other group of girls and how they measure up.
I glance up at the house and see Galen lurking inside.
I try to recall the memories he’s shown me, but they seem to lose their clarity when he’s not around. Is this a part of the memory block?
I open my mouth to comment on him watching when Sybil walks down to the beach to let us know that there will be no ball that night. Some of the girls in the other group took their case harder than anticipated.
“Sybil,” I call after them as they start to walk away. “Stay with us a little longer.” Sybil, Cat, and Zara all seem surprised at my request. “That is, if you’re not too busy.”
Sybil smiles and walks back to us, then settles in their own lounge chair. “Are you all handling today well?”
I wave them off. “No talk of business; we’re drinking. Can you conjure your own drink, or does someone need to get you one?” I ask.
They answer me by conjuring a drink, and I smile.
“Do you sit in with Essos often?” Cat asks, and I frown at her immediate dismissal of my not wanting to talk business.
But Sybil seems happy to answer. “Mostly just in an administrative capacity. He has a lot of paperwork that comes with running the Afterlife, and I help streamline the process.”
“Does that mean as queen, I’ll have a lot of paperwork to do?” Zara asks, sounding disappointed.
Cat snorts into her drink.
“It's been a good many years since he had his consort. You will have some paperwork, I’m sure. It’s not all balls and gowns. Being queen means having to entertain the citizens of Solarem. As a new arrival, the queen will be of particular interest.” Sybil’s answer seems to deepen Zara’s disappointment.