Essos turns to face us. I catch sight of Zara out of the corner of my eye. She looks so uncomfortable. By his own telling, everything Dell did in his life was to make up for his crime. Even Cat is fidgeting in her seat.
“I put this case before you. Shall Mr. McMann be allowed to be reunited with his family or shall he serve out his term in the Deep as originally intended?”
“The Deep?” I blurt out, surprised that he would be sentenced to such a place for one mistake. It feels like it takes an eternity for Essos to face me.
“He took a life. This is why you are here—to determine if there are mitigating factors at play. Anyone can appeal where they are sent. Some situations have extenuating circumstances, some are just terrible people neglecting to admit to themselves and to others how truly heinous their actions were, regardless of the excuses they may have. As my consort, as myqueen, you need to be able to make these calls.”
Essos gives us time to think this over, but not much. I feel as though the Jeopardy theme song is playing behind me. The pressure is on to make not just a call, but the right one.
Zara shows that she would rule with an iron fist, denying Dell McMann’s appeal.
“While nice that he adopted the dogs and joined the Navy, that does not change the fact that he took a life and must pay for that crime.”
Cat sees that the good works he did with his life afterward had a positive impact on the world and rules that he may see his family again.
“He took a life-changing moment and let it change his life. His punishment is that he has to carry this shame with him for eternity. For me, that is punishment enough,” Cat declares.
Essos turns to me, his face impassive. After centuries of having to make decisions like this, he shows not a shred of emotion.
“I think that you have done a tremendous wrong to Mr. Corrodino, and you owe him an apology for your actions. I believe that he is in a better position to determine your destination, and we will take his decision under advisement.” I try to adopt the same even tone as Essos. It takes everything in me to keep my voice from shaking.
Essos waves his hand, and another man appears. He’s older, with silver hair and a strong jawline. For a moment, he’s confused, then he sees Essos and Dell, and understanding seems to dawn on him.
“Gideon Corrodino?” Essos verifies.
“Yessir.”
“Are you aware of why I have summoned you today?”
“No, sir,” Gideon responds.
Essos gestures toward Dell, whose posture has deflated at the sight of Gideon. The guilt that he has felt from years of carrying this secret is nothing compared to being face to face with the man whose life he took.
“This is the man that hit you with his car and left you lying in a ditch for three hours while you bled out. He has been sentenced to live out his life in the Deep and never to see his family again. It was proposed that, since he took your life, you should help to determine how he lives in death. What do you have to say to him, Dell?”
Dell steps forward, his Adam's apple bobbing as he salutes Gideon. “Sir, I imagined for my whole life what I would say to you if I ever had the chance. I never thought that I actually would. I know my words cannot express how sorry I am for what I did, but I hope my actions have shown it. Not one day went by where I didn’t think about the hypocrite I was, telling my children to take responsibility for their actions while I was a coward. I am so deeply, deeply sorry.”
Gideon is silent, considering the words he has just heard. His face is hard, angry. Then…
“I was mad for a good while after it happened, but my Cheryl reminded me that it brought us back together again. I was able to see the love and comfort your family gave to Winnie and Church for the rest of their lives and as they passed themselves. Same as you, I thought for a long time about what I would say to the careless bastard who killed me, but I’m not sure there’s more that I can say to you that you haven’t already said to yourself. I ampissed, stark raving mad about what you did. Some days are worse than others, but when I remember how long I was out there, I get mad again. I don’t think I can accept your apology, not now, not yet. You’ve said your piece, and I won’t stop you from being with your family again, but I don’t forgive you.”
The room is silent as Dell nods, accepting this, not pushing for forgiveness. Essos turns to me, waiting for me to decide what to do. It’s no small thing, deciding if someone should go to their afterlife or the Deep, but it’s a decision that needs to be made.
I stand and walk forward, not sure what possesses me to do so.
“You showed cowardice and carelessness, but from that, you found humility and bravery. For that, for the next one hundred years, you will wear a sixty-seven-pound backpack to represent each year of life Gideon lived before you took the rest of what he could have had. After those hundred, if Gideon still has not forgiven you, you shall bear it for another hundred years and another and another until he does forgive you. If he decides never to forgive you, then you shall bear that weight for the rest of eternity. You will do so in the Afterlife, with your family,” I say firmly.
Essos watches me from his seat, not moving for a moment, before reaching for a gavel and slamming it on the table. “And so, it is decided.”
Both men disappear, vanishing into what I have to assume is their afterlives. I stumble back and sit down, overwhelmed suddenly with the pressure of what just happened. I open my mouth to speak, but Essos holds up his hand.
“That was an easier case than many you will face. The true monsters usually don’t try to appeal, but there are all kinds in the world. It is our responsibility to hear their plea before making a judgment. Your punishment was harsher than I would have handed out, but that is neither here nor there.”
Essos dismisses us with a flick of his hand and turns to the papers in front of him.
Sybil rises to lead us from the basement, but I hesitate a moment, turning to Essos. “What would your punishment have been?”
Essos looks up at me, his eyes studying my face. “I would have let the bag come off after a certain amount of time. Dell isn’t likely to ever be forgiven. But I’ve been wrong before. Regardless of how good his reason was, he still took something that was precious to Gideon. His soul was never destined for the Deep. He was to go to the Garden of Evil, but I find raising the stakes changes how people look at things.” He dismisses me by looking down at his papers again, and I rush to catch up to everyone else.