“Please, just listen to me, my love,” he whispers. The dogs are lounging at his feet, never having given warning that he was there. “Trust you to be a force of nature and not listen to a damn word I said. I asked you to lie low, and you challenged him instead.”
I open my mouth to contradict him, but he silences me with a look.
“I was wrong—I thought that having you would mean he wouldn’t hurt you, but he will do anything to hurt me, even if that means hurting you.” Before I can object, he continues. “Not that you’re saying or doing anything he doesn’t deserve, but holy hells, Daphne.” He runs his hands over his face, and he looks so much more tired than I have ever seen him.
“He doesn’t need a reason—he’s going to do it anyway. I might as well get some digs in there myself.” I draw my knees to my chest.
“But if you play the part, maybe you can beat him at his own game. Every battle can’t bethebattle. Let him sleep in our room, let him use my office. I don’t care. None of this mattered without you, and I need you to survive.”
“I won’t provoke him...as much. But I’m not going to share a bed with that monster.” I hedge.
The corner of one lip tugs up in a smirk. “I know you can say that you are not going to poke the bear, but I know you—we were married for centuries. Your favorite pastime is kicking the bear in the face. Especially after what he did to you. You died, and the sky wept for you.” He doesn’t sound heartbroken, just matter-of-fact.
“How did you just let him live after what happened to me?” I ask, and my voice catches, giving away the betrayal I feel.
He goes perfectly still before meeting my eyes.“You think I had a choice?” he whispers, and I can barely hear him. I look away from him and out the window, where the sun is starting to rise. The sky is a violent red color. I remember the old rhyme,Red sky at morning, sailors take warning. There’s a storm brewing somewhere.
Essos stands and crosses the room, barely making a sound as he kneels beside the tub. I turn to look at him, and he pushes the wet hair away from my face.
“Not killing him was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Getting up every day after you died was the next hardest thing. I woke up in an empty bed. I spent my days knowing that Galen was alive and breathing and you weren’t. Xavier felt that, while it would have been justified, he didn’t want to open the floodgates. Their explanation for your death was neat and clean, and muddying it with Galen’s death would have been a ‘complication.’” He doesn’t look away from me; his eyes stare through me and into the betrayal I am feeling. Essos doesn’t care that talking to me is pulling back the scab on this old, old wound, one he thought he had finally healed with my return. He does it anyway. He does it because he knows that I need to hear the words. I need him to tell me why he didn’t scorch the earth and punish Galen for what he did.
“I had to spend my days overseeing the ushering of new souls into the Underworld. More loss and sadness. And then I had to go to bed alone, knowing that the woman I love was dead while my asshole brother walked around like he was hot shit.” He looks down at the water and then back up at me. I lean forward and press my forehead to his. His eyes close, and I tilt my head, my lips meeting his.
There is no heat behind the kiss; it’s just sweet. We’ve done this a hundred thousand times, and it feels like home.
Essos pulls away and cradles my face in his hands, then sits there a beat, just looking at me, as if trying to memorize every detail of my face. “I love you, a thousand times. I love you. I will rip the sun from the sky and tear the moon in half to get back to you, and nothing and no one will stop me.” He leans forward and kisses my forehead.
“I love you,” I whisper back. I’ve missed hundreds of years of these words, years of declarations that he loved me. You don’t realize how much you miss hearingI love youuntil you don’t have it. A tear slips from my eye, and he uses his thumb to wipe it away.
“I have to leave now. I will be back for you. Do not ever doubt it. I will kill my brother if I have to,” he vows to me. Essos kisses my lips one last time before standing up. I grab his arm like he’s the life preserver I need him to be. He takes my hand and threads his fingers through mine before bringing it up and kissing my knuckles.
“Come back to me,” I say, and let go of his hand.
In a blink, he is gone, and I am alone in the bathroom, blinded by the rising sun.