“I need access to Essos’s gold,” Galen says quickly, and two men I’ve never seen before appear beside him. Glaring, I wave my hand and turn them into trees. Galen starts toward me, and Xavier steps between us.
“For the love of—well, me, can’t you two play nice?” Xavier pleads.
My eyebrows shoot up, and I gape at him. “Excuse me? He killed me! Literally stabbed a knife in my chestsix times,” I shout, while Galen starts to yell about me turning his people into trees.
Helene steps in then. “Please, okay, clearly this is not going to work well, and you need some babysitters if you’re both going to survive.” Helene summons chairs and pushes them into the backs of our knees, forcing us into them. “You wanted this, Galen. Now you need to make it work.”
I cross my arms and look away from this mess, wondering how I got here. How did I let myself be so manipulated by Galen? Fury rises off my skin as I think about all that he has done and all that he has taken from me. His actions tonight have shown who he truly is—who I have always known him to be. The Galen that smashed the marble countertop was the real one, not the Galen who feigned concern when I almost passed out in the shower.
“Now, that sounds like a great idea. How about some pre-marital counseling to ensure that you both go into this with open hearts, eh?” Xavier waves a hand, clearing the ballroom of any mess from tonight. “That should save you some effort. Now, please, go to your separate wings, and in one month, we will reconvene and determine how to host the Trials. Seems more sporting to have them staggered, but that will be up to the Council to determine. In that time, you’ll have some counseling to ensure that yours is a happy union and that the Underworld will continue to run the way it must. There is a reason someone has to be in charge of it, and that's because I do not want more work. Am I clear?” Without waiting for us to respond, Xavier makes his way toward the door with Posey in tow. She follows him like the good little wife she is supposed to be, but her eyes are narrowed on me. “Helene,” Xavier says as they’re about to depart, “do you think you can manage these two until we can set up the Trials?”
Helene, for her part, covers up her anger rather well. Kai, knowing his wife, places a hand on her shoulder, supporting her in suppressing the urge to murder us all. “Of course. I have nothing better to do, brother. No weddings to bless, or my own job. I would much rather play babysitter for my brother and my other brother’s wife.”
“Good! Such a good sport. Now, if you will excuse us.” Xavier holds his hand out for Posey, and she takes it, but not before giving Galen a meaningful look. “And don’t forget to turn those trees back into his men,” he shouts before vanishing with Posey.
Helene rolls her eyes. She watches me, waiting for me to comply, and when I don’t, she gives me a scolding look, motioning at the two trees still flanking Galen.
“Fine.” I look away, reverting them to their normal form. They look confused by all the changes that took place while they were trees.
Galen stands and straightens his tux jacket. “I’ll go to the master bedroom and stay there,” he says.
I jump out of my seat. “You will not!” My strength is draining, but I’m ready to square off with him again. Apparently, when I thought about having to pick my battles with Galen, I decided they were all my battles. I can’t give him an inch anywhere.
Helene leans her head back and stomps her feet. “Literally, is this going to be babysitting the entirefuckingtime? Is everything going to be a fight? No, Galen, you will not sleep in our brother’s room. It is bad enough that you stole his wife and his domain. You can wait six fucking months before taking his bedroom as well. The room you’ve been staying in this whole fucking time was good enough for you before and will still be good enough now. Daphne can stay in the room she’s been in for months, I will stay in my room, as before, and until you two are married, no one will stay in the master. On that note, go the fuck to bed. I’m sick of you both.” Helene kicks off her heels and leans over to pick them up before striding away. Kai sheepishly dips his head toward me, then follows Helene.
“Youwilllearn to love me,” Galen says as I walk away, leaving him there to plot and plot and plot. I don’t bother to grace him with a look. The only one with a lesson to learn is him. There is nothing he can do that will ever change how I feel about him.
CHAPTER36
Iwalk into my room and close the door behind me. The last fifteen minutes took more out of me than the entire Calling. I lean against it, then sink to the floor. Resting my head in my hands, I think of all the ways that I fucked up. I can feel my mind reaching for sleep or some way to process the events of tonight, but I’m terrified of what will happen when I close my eyes.
I don’t even know how to process this. My head is still pounding, and I think my nose might still be bleeding, but these are the least of my concerns.
I think of Essos, and where he might be, as Dave walks over and nudges my hand with his snout. I start to pet him, and he nudges closer to my face to lick the tears as they start to fall. True to his nature, Waffles has not moved from my pillow, where he lies and watches me curiously, not even lifting his head. It’s all side-eye, and I deserve it.
I have profoundly fucked up, and I don’t know how to fix what I’ve done, but I know that I have to.
There is a gentle knock at the door, and a small voice on the other side as Cat calls my name. I contemplate opening the door and letting her in. But I can’t stand the thought of having to talk to anyone at this point, so I silently wait for her to cross back to her room and go to sleep. That is the second night in a row I have blown off my best friend, but there is not enough left in me to care.
Tomorrow is another day. Tonight, I need to find a way to pull the broken pieces of myself back together. I cross the room, kicking my shoes off as I walk to the window. I stare out at the beach and think about where my husband could possibly be now.
On the beach, men are patrolling, and I wonder if this will be my new normal—men circling my home to keep Essos away and me in. It’s a fleeting thought, because I know Galen. I know that he will do everything that he can to control me. Cat and Zara are weapons that can be used against me. My love for Helene will cause him to doubt her, and there is no way that he’s going to allow me to have an ally that close, even if it is what Xavier wants.
I strip off the dress and stand completely naked for a moment, looking at myself in the mirror. I know that this is not the same body I had when Galen murdered me, but I touch my chest in the spots where he stabbed me. This violation is not something that I will let go, but if I want to survive—if I want there to be something left for Essos to return to—I’m going to have to play his game his way. I was brash and foolish tonight in how I acted, letting him get under my skin.
I fill the tub and start to pull the pins from my hair. I try to remember all the different faces that I have seen tonight, and while some come easily to me, others leave me clawing for an association. I’m at a disadvantage until my memory comes back completely. I’ll have to see if Finn can help me get more back faster, but there are centuries upon centuries upon millennia of memories to recall. Am I still at risk of nosebleeds if I get them back too fast?
I open the blinds beside the tub. I can see the sun starting to peek out along the horizon as I slide into the water before it’s fully warmed. A chill runs up my spine as I sink in and try to call on memories of my husband that Galen hasn’t tainted.
I close my eyes and find a memory of Essos. He enters the bathroom to see me sitting in the tub in our room after a longer day than usual at work. In the memory, he sits at my vanity and removes his shoes. I smile, recalling the coyness of this memory. How I looked at him, what he accused me of...
“Are you undressing me with your eyes?” he asks, feigning shock and outrage. He takes off one shoe and then the other.
“Only seems fair,” I say, swishing water around, attempting to gather bubbles to cover my obvious state of undress.
He stands, loosening his tie. “You’re right, we should both be soaking wet right now.” He strides to me and places his hands on either side of the tub. He kisses me hard on the mouth, keeping just far enough away that I have to stretch to him. I sit up a little more, rising to meet him before becoming distracted by a splash and a sudden displacement of water. I laugh, realizing that my power-conserving husband used his power to strip his clothes away and climb into the tub with me. His crystal-blue eyes twinkle with mischief as he pulls me closer to him.
I sink deeper into the tub before submerging myself entirely. I have to find a way to fix this and banish Galen from my home. I linger under the water, my whole body hot from using too much power. I hold my breath and stay under as long as I can, until my lungs burn and I have to come up. My hesitations around water are gone, the negative association washed away in the confusion of finding myself again. I sit back up, pulling in a large gasp of air, and open my eyes to find Essos sitting in the bathroom. I startle, but he brings a finger to his lips.