Her brown eyes lose their glow, and she picks her nails, carelessly chewing her lip. That’s enough to force a pang of worry to jab at my chest.
“Everything okay?”
She straddles me, her hands on my neck, lips on my forehead for a sweet, affectionate peck. “I tried to hold off as long as I could, but I can’t anymore.” She caresses my cheeks and huffs a nervous breath. “We’ve not been dating long, and I don’t want anything from you, okay? Not until you know everything I’ve not told you about my past. You can decide what to do with me after I tell you the truth.”
It takes me a moment to process her words, but when I do, my stomach sinks, and my pulse quickens steadily like water filling a bathtub.
Fuck.
Jesus Christ.
She’s pregnant...
I just know it.
She’s fucking pregnant.
It’s too soon. Isn’t it? Am I ready? Is now a good time? Is my work stable enough? What about Thalia? Will she stay home? Will we need a nanny?
A tornado of contradicting ideas destroys all rational thoughts before they fully form in my mind. I’m furious I knocked her up six weeks into our relationship. I’m furious she held off fuck knows how long before telling me. She’s been through so much stress lately. She works six days a week. She should be resting and taking care of herself...
Shit.
We had a couple of beers last night.How will that affect the baby?
Baby.
My baby.
Mine and Thalia’s.
A mindless daze of happiness washes over me when my mind floods with enticing images. Thalia with a round belly. A little baby boy taking his first steps. Thalia wiping the dirty faces of our kids while we’re barbecuing with my family. I’m overcome with joy... it numbs a little bit of the fury.
Especially since Thalia doesn’t seem scared. She’s not panicking, even though pregnancy will affect her most.
Questions multiply in my head, and it takes a second before I understand thatI’mnot panicking, either. I’m not thinking of ways to get out of this. I’m not questioning whether I wanttobuild my life and future with her... I do.
How did I get here?
Andwhenexactly?
It’s not like I ever thought about this moment in time. It seemed like such a faraway concept, but now that I’m here,it feels right. So fucking right that I think I don’t deserve to be this happy, but I am.
And that’s all I need to know.
Everything else will fall into place with time.
Thalia’s unaware of the chaos happening inside my head. It’s not even been ten seconds, but I’ve got a plan of action.
Ring. I need a ring and fast.
I cup her face, catching her lips in a slow, affectionate kiss. Jesus, I’m so fucking full, so fluffy inside, my heart might burst any second. “We’ll make it work. I promise,omorfiá.I’ll make this as easy as breathing for you.”
Two wrinkles appear on her forehead, and her expression morphs into pure mortification when I place my hand on her abdomen. “Oh, God! You think I’m pregnant?” she cries, then bursts out laughing. “I’m not pregnant, Theo. That’s not what I want to tell you!”
Notpregnant?
Shit, I can’t keep up with my own head. It would be too soon, so why does my stomach sink and shoulders slump as if she took away something precious from me?