I grind my teeth, pumping my fingers. “I’m good.”
Not good at all.
Why is she with Dean?
Shawn shakes his head, dismissing my words like you dismiss kids when they ask dumb questions. “What’s stopping you? You like Thalia, and she likes you too.”
Muscles in my back tense painfully. I grasp the counter with both hands, hanging my head low.
Why am I only perfectly comfortable when she’s close? Why does it feel like I’m wrestling the Hulk, trying to fight what I want? And why am I fighting it?
Because I’m scared, that’s why.
She’s funny, easy-going, smart, and compassionate. I’m in awe of her positivity, attitude, and confidence. She’s beautiful inside and out, and it scares me.
After holding her all night in my arms, I’m way past sex only. I want more. Much more, but I don’t want to lose her. What if we start dating and fall apart after a while? We won’t go back to being friends. We’ll be perfect strangers, and I don’t think I could stomach not having her around.
What if you don’t fall apart?
“She’s all I think about, Shawn, but what do I know about relationships? Nothing. I’m way out of my fucking comfort zone just thinking about it. I can’t make it work, bro. I’ll fuck up, hurt her, and lose her.”
“It’s not rocket science, Theo. You’ll figure it out.”
So, so helpful.
Maybe I will figure it out. Or maybe I won’t.
Decisions, decisions...
She’s still outside with Dean, and while I might not know what I wantfromher, I do know what I wantforher, and Dean isn’t it.
I leave Shawn in the kitchen, yank the main door open, and down the concrete steps I go, glancing around the driveway, my chest heaving. She rests against my Camaro, arms folded over her busty chest, eyes narrowed at that asshole. I stop when Dean’s voice, as pleasant as a mosquito buzzing overhead at two in the morning, reaches my ears.
“You’re not being fair.” He kicks the gravel. “I’m trying to make amends. I keep thinking about you, but I also don’t want to waste my time, so before I make a bigger fool of myself, I’m going to ask you a question. What’s going on with you and Theo? He sure acts like you’re his.”
“I’m not,” Thalia clips, pushing a twelve-inch blade into my chest. “I told you, we’re just friends, but don’t make a fool out of yourself regardless. You and I won’t happen.”
“Good, good...” he mutters as if he hadn’t heard a word she said after admitting we’rejustfriends. “I know Theo, and he’s not the kind of guy I’d like to get in the way of..”
Good call, my friend.
“If you say you’re just friends, I believe you. Can I pick you up tomorrow? There’s a nice restaurant—”
“Dean, stop and listen to me, you’re a decent guy when you put your head into it, but I’m not interested anymore.”
“Thalia,” I interrupt when Dean opens his mouth again, the tone of my voice dripping with territoriality. “Come on,omorfiá. Shawn and Jack are waiting for us.”
They’re not, but I need to take her away from Dean before he gets too close and consequently forces my fist too close to his jaw or nose. Or both.
“I’ll be there in a second,” she tells me, probably wanting to make sure Dean understands she’s not interested. I’m one step away from explaining that to him nonverbally, but it’s probably best not to make a scene.
I should walk away. I should leave them to finish their conversation. Should. Could. Would.
Can’t.
Won’t.
No fucking way in hell.